


I Will Breathe for the Both of Us

by lastlight23 (orphan_account)



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M, Slash, Waycest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-05-15
Updated: 2012-05-16
Packaged: 2017-11-05 10:57:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 30,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/405634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/lastlight23
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mikey Way is an introverted college student who's in love with his brother, Gerard. But things get more complicated when Frank Iero comes into the picture...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Thank God for noise-cancelling headphones…_

Mikey Way thinks to himself, sighing heavily and leaning his back against the headboard behind his bed as the pounding rhythm of the Misfits pours into his ears. A "Classic 18th Century Literature" textbook lies open across his lap, and a fluorescent highlighter is hanging out of the left corner of his mouth, being gnawed between his teeth. Mikey sets his glasses down on his textbook momentarily and rubs his tired, unfocused eyes. It’s almost two in the morning and he has been up studying for hours, even though it’s only the first week of a new year of college.

Mikey’s an English major and a committed student, to say the least. He had always been near the top of his class throughout high school, and his work ethic had only gotten better once he’d started college two years earlier. He’s now in his third year with a GPA of 3.6.

Mikey never used to be one to study while listening to loud punk rock, but lately, he can’t get any studying done without it. There’s suddenly silence as the playlist ends, and Mikey tentatively takes off his headphones, listening for the sounds he has been trying to avoid hearing for the past hour or so.

“Oh fuck, Gerard…you’re such a tease…” he hears a young, male voice giggle drunkenly on the other side of the thin wall.

“Oh God…” Mikey groans around the highlighter in his mouth. He puts his headphones back on and presses play on his iPod.

It’s his older brother, Gerard, who is apparently “such a tease” during sex. Mikey should be used to this by now; Gerard has been doing this ever since they moved into the apartment together last year. He goes out, gets piss drunk, brings some random guy home, fucks his brains out, and then sends him home promptly in the morning before Mikey wakes up. It’s disgusting, Mikey thinks. And it distracts him from his studies—he doesn’t want his brother’s late night “sexcapades” sabotaging his efforts to make the dean’s list for the third year in a row.

But, to complicate things further, it’s not only the distractions and the sheer awkwardness of hearing his brother have sex in the next room that bothers Mikey.

There’s also the jealousy.

But Mikey knows the jealousy he feels is irrational. He knows he shouldn’t be jealous of the random guys that get to sleep with his older brother. He knows he shouldn’t want Gerard.

Mikey tells himself that it’s wrong and he tries to fight his feelings every single day. He has to consciously try to not let his heart melt every single time he sees Gerard’s beautiful smile, to not daydream about kissing Gerard when he’s supposed to be listening to a lecture on utopian societies in literature, to not think about Gerard while he takes his long, hot showers…

Fuck. Mikey realizes he’s smiling to himself, thinking about his brother again. He pulls the highlighter out of his mouth and brings himself back to reality.

_Get it together, Mikey. Get it together. Gerard fucks strangers for fun. He's college dropout. He's your brother. Don’t waste your time thinking about him. It’ll never happen anyway._

Mikey gets himself back into the studying mindset and diligently goes back to reading and highlighting "Classic 18th Century Literature."

***

Gerard wakes up to mild nausea, a pounding headache, and some guy’s hand rubbing his chest sensually.

“You up for round three?” the guy whispers seductively.

Gerard opens his eyes and groans softly as his eyes adjust to the morning sunlight coming in through the open blinds at the window. Round three? It just registers in his head that he and this mystery guy must have fucked twice the night before. Gerard had been too drunk last night to remember it now. He turns his head to look at the guy: He’s blond with deep blue eyes and a cute little smile.

 _Wow, drunk Gerard did well last night…_ He congratulates himself, seeing the hottie he’d landed the night before.

“So…what do you say?” the guy presses on, his eyes lit up with lust.

“What’s your name?” Gerard asks. His voice comes out slightly hoarse, and he realizes how dry his throat is. All the alcohol in his system must have dehydrated him.

The guy looks slightly taken aback by Gerard’s question. “Connor,” he replies.

“You should go home, Connor. I’m not in the mood.”

Gerard gets out of bed, feeling slightly lightheaded at first, and tosses Connor’s clothes onto the bed in a demeaning manner. A hung over Gerard is an irritable Gerard.

“I liked you better when you were drunk, asshole,” Connor says bitingly, obviously pissed off that Gerard was blatantly telling him to get out of his apartment.

Connor gets out of bed and puts his clothes on, as does Gerard, and then Gerard sees him to the door. Connor doesn’t even say goodbye when he leaves, but Gerard could care less. All they’d shared was a meaningless fuck, anyway.

Gerard makes his way down the hallway of the small apartment, hearing Mikey shuffling around in his room as he walks by, and then enters the kitchen where he puts on a pot of coffee for the both of them.

He sighs as he waits for his caffeine fix and tries not to think about what a mess his life has become. Ever since he dropped out of art school he feels like he has no direction in life; like he’s just going through the motions but not really living. He has no passion for life. It’s just sex, booze and partying. At first he told himself he was just taking a year off of school to deal with his issues with depression, but a year passed, and then two, and he admitted to himself that he had no motivation to go back. Now he’s twenty-five years old and working at fucking Barnes and Noble—a job that he would have never gotten if it weren’t for Mikey putting in a good word for him.

What a life.

Gerard sighs and his ears perk up as he hears Mikey’s bedroom door open. Mikey saunters into the room a few seconds later, clad in jeans and a red t-shirt, still looking half-asleep.

“Hey,” Mikey says as he slumps down on a chair at the dining table.

“Hey,” Gerard says back. “Coffee’s almost ready.”

“Better be, I’m so fucking tired,” Mikey says. He glances at Gerard. “You look like you had a rough night,” he comments.

“It might have been rough…I don’t really remember what he was into,” Gerard says with a smirk.

Mikey rolls his eyes at his brother, looking slightly uncomfortable. “Do you always have to bring them here? I’ve told you so many times how much it distracts me…hearing you…”

“Maybe you should leave the apartment more often. Then you wouldn’t have to hear it,” Gerard suggests. The coffee’s ready and he pours two cups and hands one to Mikey. “Seriously. You’re a fucking hermit, Mikey. All you do every night is lock yourself in your room and study.”

Mikey doesn’t deny this—it’s what he’s used to. He has always been on the quieter side, and not much of a partier.

Gerard sips his coffee and continues. “You know what I’ve noticed? Ever since Alicia broke up with you in your first year of college, you’ve become such a boring fuck. You never go out, you never drink... Nothing.”

“Well, she broke my heart. What’d you expect me to do? I just focused more on school so I could get over her, and now it’s like…a habit, I guess,” Mikey explains. “Ugh, why’d you have to bring her up, Gerard?” he groans, apparently momentarily reliving the pain of being dumped by his high school sweetheart.

“Come on, that was two years ago…” Gerard says, walking over to Mikey and putting his hands on his shoulders. “She’s old news,” he says.

Gerard feels Mikey’s shoulders relax under his touch and smiles as Mikey leans his head back against the edge of the chair and looks up at him.

“Can you drive me to class in a bit?” Mikey asks.

“Sorry, I think I’m still drunk from last night,” Gerard says, holding back a smile.

Mikey laughs. “Bullshit,” he says as he gets up from the chair.

“Just let me get my keys,” Gerard chuckles.


	2. Chapter 2

“Do you want me to pick you up later?” Gerard asks Mikey once he pulls up in front of Rutgers University in Newark. It’s a sunny September morning and there are students lounging in the grass on campus, studying, talking, whatever.

Mikey takes off his seatbelt and looks over at Gerard. “That’s okay; I can bus home. Thanks for the ride,” he says and gets out of the car.

“Mikey.”

Mikey stops just as he’s about to shut the car door and looks at Gerard expectantly.

Gerard smiles his beautiful smile and his eyes crinkle in the corners. Mikey’s heart pounds and all he wants to do is jump back into the car and pounce on his older brother and kiss him and tell him how much he loves him.

But he holds himself back.

“Have a good day,” Gerard says.

Mikey tries not to smile too widely as he says a quiet “thanks” and shuts the car door behind him and continues on up the stairs to the main entrance of the school. He looks back and watches Gerard’s silver Camaro drive away before sighing and walking to his first class of the day.

Friday is Mikey’s long day this semester: His first class is at ten-thirty and his last class is at six-thirty. Although he has a few breaks throughout the day between classes, he still dreads the long day ahead of him. He makes it through the morning with another two cups of coffee from the crappy cafeteria on campus, and studies in the library during his breaks, not talking to anyone. Mikey feels safe when he’s alone. When he isn’t talking to people, he doesn’t have to try so hard not to be so awkward; he doesn’t have to worry about coming off as a totally boring nerd, which is how he sees himself. He does have friends outside of college, but even so, he seldom hangs out with them except for when he has a break from school.

Finally, after two long lectures on literature, Mikey makes his way to his last class of the day, which is an introductory art history course. He chose the class as an elective to offset his heavy work load this semester, and hopes he’ll find it interesting.

Mikey enters the large lecture theatre, which is slowly filling up with students, and sits down in the very back row—his favourite spot because he feels safe and secluded there. He watches the students walking in, all chatting and full of energy, and guesses that they are mostly first years, excited for their first art history course. He smiles to himself, pulls up the small desktop, and takes his books out of his messenger bag before setting them down in front of him. He’s prepared to listen to the lecture, take notes, and then go home and catch up on lost sleep before Gerard’s Friday night fuck-fest begins.

“Hey, is this seat taken?”

Mikey looks up and sees a short, tattooed guy eyeing the seat to the left of him. The guy has jet black hair with a long fringe covering the right side of his face, he has a nose ring and a lip ring, and he’s wearing a black t-shirt and jeans. He looks pretty badass, but at the same time he wears this sincere smile on his face that Mikey can’t seem to take his eyes off of.

“What? Oh, um…no.” Mikey shakes his head and quickly looks away from the guy, pretending to look through his notebook. His heart is pounding from the awkward exchange of words, as it did in pretty much every social situation he encountered.

The guy sits down next to Mikey and doesn’t even take out his books or anything, even though class is about to start. Mikey finds this astounding.

The professor clears his throat and the chattering students quiet down as he begins the lecture. He welcomes the class to a new semester and then says something that makes Mikey’s stomach churn.

“So, since it’s our first lecture of the semester I’d like to start off by having you all turn to the person sitting next to you and introduce yourself,” the prof speaks enthusiastically. The class immediately gets louder as people begin to say their introductions.

Mikey reluctantly turns toward the tattooed guy sitting next to him and the guy's hand extends out for Mikey to shake.

“Hey, I’m Frank,” he says confidently with that sincere smile again.

Mikey takes Frank’s hand and shakes it. “I’m Mikey,” he smiles back politely.

Their hands part quickly and Mikey starts to turn in his seat but is stopped by Frank, who clearly wants to continue the conversation.

“So…what year are you in?” Frank questions.

Mikey bites the inside of his lip, frustrated. He just wants to go back to sitting in his own little bubble without this Frank guy forcing him to talk…

“I’m in third year,” Mikey tells him conclusively.

“Oh. I’m in second year,” Frank returns. “How come you’re taking an introductory course if you’re in third year?” he asks.

“I just wanted an easier course to balance my workload this semester. I’m taking three advanced literature courses on top of this,” says Mikey, trying hard not to sound arrogant.

“Wow, that sounds tough,” Frank nods. “I’m just taking a bunch of random shit this semester,” he chuckles.

Mikey nods, smiles, and looks away for a moment, and is relieved when the professor quiets the class down again. He turns in his seat and focuses his attention towards the front of the room.

As Mikey listens attentively to the professor as he talks about the foundations of the course, he can’t help but become distracted by the way Frank is tapping his fingers on his desktop. Mikey subtly glances down at Frank’s hands and notices that he has letters tattooed on his fingers. He curiously tries to read them and doesn’t notice when Frank looks over at him.

“It says ‘Halloween.’” Frank tells him.

Mikey is caught off guard and feels his face get hot.

Frank puts his hands together in fists and Mikey sees that the letters tattooed across the fingers of both of Frank's hands do in fact spell out the word ‘Halloween’.

“That’s awesome,” Mikey smiles, genuinely amused by this. “I’m guessing it’s your favourite holiday.”

“Yeah, and it’s also my birthday,” Frank tells him. “And, since I’m turning 21 this year, I’m gonna be one drunk motherfucker this Halloween,” he smirks.

“Hah, right on,” Mikey chuckles. “One of my best friends was born on New Year’s Eve. We always have a huge party for him. My whole body usually hurts the next morning.”

Frank laughs quietly at this, and they’re off. At first, Mikey feels anxious about talking during the lecture because he’s so used to being a “perfect student.” However, they end up talking in low voices for the rest of the lecture, occasionally pausing to write down an important note. To Mikey’s surprise, he finds it easy to hold a conversation with Frank and his heart rate stays at a fairly normal rate during the whole lecture.

_I can do this. I can be normal. I’m having a normal conversation with another human being. It’s not so bad._

Mikey can’t help but smile at his progress.

The two hour lecture ends at eight-thirty, and it actually went by a lot quicker than Mikey had expected. He and Frank both pack up their stuff and shuffle out of the lecture theatre with the other undergrad students. They continue talking as they walk through the halls of the school.

“Hey, I’m meeting up with some friends at The Scarlet Pub right now for drinks. Wanna join?” Frank asks, looking over at Mikey expectantly.

Mikey bites his lip, thinking about having to meet Frank’s friends. He would be the awkward new guy in the group, and he could just anticipate himself getting tipsy and making a fool of himself in front of these strangers. He also thinks about how nice it would be to catch a couple hours of sleep before Gerard brings home his latest fuck toy…

“I can’t tonight. I, uh…I have plans,” Mikey says. He notices Frank’s face fall slightly and instantly feels bad. “Maybe next Friday though,” he pipes up.

Frank smiles. “Yeah, next Friday sounds good,” he says. “We have to go to The Scarlet Pub though; it’s the only place that doesn’t I.D. me.”

Mikey laughs. “It’s fine by me.”

Before Mikey and Frank part ways, Frank suggests that they exchange numbers, so they do.

Mikey walks down the street outside of the university to the bus stop, hoping that he can make it home in time to see a sober Gerard before he leaves to go clubbing.

*

“Gerard?” Mikey calls out as soon as he walks into the apartment. He shuts the door behind him and kicks off his shoes.

“In here,” Gerard calls back.

Relieved, Mikey makes his way to Gerard’s bedroom. The door is open and Mikey walks in, seeing Gerard standing in front of his mirror as he applies his eyeliner. He’s wearing a tight t-shirt under his black leather jacket, and even tighter black jeans which show off his perfectly shaped ass. Mikey can’t help but stare at the sexy beast that is his brother.

“Hi,” Gerard says loudly, giving Mikey a sideways glance before turning his attention back to the mirror.

“Oh, hey,” Mikey says, snapping out of his silent trance.

“How was school?”

“Really good, actually,” Mikey tells him. “I met this guy in my art history class. He’s super nice.”

“Wow, really? Mikey Way actually talked to someone at school? It’s a fuckin’ miracle!” Gerard laughs, throwing his hands up dramatically. Mikey rolls his eyes but then smiles, watching as Gerard puts his eyeliner pencil down and tousles his hair a bit.

“Yeah, I _actually_ talked to someone. He even invited me out for drinks tonight, but I said no,” Mikey says.

Gerard snaps his head in Mikey’s direction. “You said _no_? What the fuck, Mikey? It’s Friday night and you don’t even wanna go out for drinks?”

“I dunno…it’d be awkward. He said his friends were gonna be there…” Mikey tries to justify.

“Yeah, and people are sooo fuckin’ scary, right?” Gerard mocks. “And you say _I’m_ fucked up…”

Mikey smirks, thinking Gerard’s cracks at his introverted personality are getting old.

“Anyway, I’m out.” Gerard takes one last look in the mirror before grabbing his keys. Mikey follows him to the door.

“Can you try not to be too loud later on? I might be asleep when you get in,” Mikey says.

“It’s usually the guy I’m on top of who’s loud—not me. I can’t help it that I’m that good of a fuck, Mikes.” Gerard smirks, and then laughs as Mikey's face turns noticeably red. “See you later, bro,” he says, and then he’s out the door.

Mikey’s heart is pounding again, but this time it’s not from anxiety. He runs to his bedroom and quickly pulls down his jeans and his boxers before climbing into bed and wrapping his right hand around his stiffening cock. Mikey breathes heavily as he jerks off, unashamedly imagining Gerard on top of him…


	3. Chapter 3

It’s Tuesday morning and Gerard knocks lightly on Mikey’s bedroom door. “Hey, Mikey…” he says. Hearing no reply, he slowly opens the door, revealing a shirtless, sleeping Mikey, who’s lying on his back and snoring softly with his mouth hanging open. Gerard smiles and walks over to the bed, carrying a thin, square-shaped package wrapped in brown paper.

“Mikey,” Gerard says louder this time, and Mikey suddenly opens his eyes and reaches over to his bedside table for his glasses, which he puts on.

“What?” Mikey says groggily, leaning up on his elbow.

Gerard sits down on the edge of Mikey’s bed and holds out the package he has in his hands. “Open it,” he says simply.

Mikey sits up in bed and takes the package from Gerard. He carefully tears away the brown paper and Gerard keenly watches his brother’s expression as he opens the gift.

Mikey gasps and looks up at Gerard with a huge smile on his face when he removes the paper from the framed drawing. “Oh my God, Gerard… This is…I love it…” he says, looking down at the drawing again.

The drawing is a cartoon portrait of Mikey as a superhero that Gerard had designed himself. He’d been working on it for weeks and had finally gotten it framed in time for today.

Gerard smiles; he’s pleased with Mikey’s reaction. “Happy birthday, Mikey,” he says.

“Thanks,” Mikey returns, still grinning. He looks down at the drawing again and shakes his head in disbelief. “I still can’t get over how amazing this is. You know, it’s really nice that you're making art again.” Mikey looks up and Gerard sees a genuine expression of happiness on his brother’s face.

When Gerard had dropped out of art school two years earlier, Mikey had been really upset. He'd told Gerard that he had a real artistic talent which would be going to waste if he didn’t continue developing his skills in art school. Gerard always hated disappointing his brother, but he just couldn’t bring himself to continue with his education—he had been so depressed back then that he saw no beauty in the world, no inspiration for art.

Although his depression had slowly improved over the years that he’d been out of school, Gerard still feels like the world has nothing for him. He feels he has no purpose. Getting drunk and fucking strangers helps him forget about his pathetic existence, if only for one night. And even though it kills him inside seeing Mikey’s disappointed looks the morning after, he does it over and over and over…

“It’s the first thing I’ve drawn since I dropped out,” Gerard admits, playing with the frayed edges of the tears in the knees of his jeans.

“Well, at least we know you’ve still got it,” Mikey says. Gerard looks up and sees Mikey’s hopeful smile. “It’s not the end, Gee. Art school will always be there when you’re ready. Just think about it.”

Gerard nods and is astounded by how lucky he is to have such an amazing young man for a brother; Mikey has always believed in him and Gerard loves him for it.

“Thanks for the kind words,” Gerard says. He looks at the digital clock on Mikey’s bedside table and then stands up. “I gotta go; my shift starts in half an hour.”

“Okay,” Mikey nods his head, still holding the picture frame in his hands as he watches Gerard walk away.

“Oh, by the way…” Gerard stops and turns around when he reaches Mikey’s door. “I’m picking you up after class at six-thirty and we’re going out for sushi.”

Mikey looks hesitant and Gerard knows what’s coming.

“Gerard, I dunno…I have so much studying to do tonight, and—” Mikey begins, but he’s cut off by Gerard.

“Who said you had a say in the matter?” Gerard smirks. He heads out the door before Mikey has a chance to protest.

*

Mikey stands in front of the stairs at the main entrance of the university while he waits for Gerard’s car to pull up. He feels awkward; he never knows how to stand.

_Hands in pockets or hands out of pockets? Arms crossed or uncrossed? Should I pretend to text someone…?_

Just as the ridiculous anxiety starts building up in his chest, the familiar silver car pulls up. Mikey quickly walks over to it and gets into the front passenger seat.

“Hey,” Mikey says, looking over at Gerard as he fastens his seatbelt. “Let me guess: You’re kidnapping me and forcing me to go out for sushi with you?”

Gerard laughs and resumes driving. “Smart boy,” he says.

Mikey smiles and tries to focus on how sweet Gerard is for taking him out for dinner on his birthday, rather than worrying about the amount of studying he will have to catch up on when he gets home afterwards.

They soon arrive at The Sushi House (Mikey’s favourite sushi restaurant in Newark) and Mikey follows Gerard into the warmly lit restaurant. The place smells great and Mikey finds his mouth watering as he thinks about the amount of delicious sushi that he will soon be eating. Gerard leads him over to a table in the front corner of the restaurant beside the fake bamboo trees in front of the windows, and to Mikey’s pleasant surprise, there are already two familiar people sitting at the table when they walk over.

“Oh my God! Ray! Bob!” Mikey exclaims. Gerard laughs and sits down at the table while Ray and Bob both stand up to give Mikey a hug.

“Hey, buddy. Happy birthday!” Ray beams and hugs Mikey. Mikey smiles when Ray’s ‘fro tickles the side of his face.

“Happy birthday, man,” Bob smiles as he pulls Mikey in for a hug.

There are two chairs on either side of the wooden table; Mikey sits down across from Gerard, Bob sits down next to Gerard, and Ray sits down next to Mikey.

“It’s so good to see you guys,” Mikey says to his two friends, unable to contain the grin he has on his face.

Ray and Bob are mutual best friends of Gerard and Mikey, and they’ve all known each other since high school. Ray is twenty-five years old like Gerard, and Bob is twenty-three; one year older than Mikey.

“It’s good to see you, too. We’ve missed you,” says Ray.

“Yeah, I haven’t seen you at Barnes and Noble in the last couple weeks,” Bob says, his blond hair illuminated by the lights in the room.

“I know. I told Brian not to give me too many shifts. I’m gonna focus more on school,” Mikey tells him.

“Shit…I didn’t think you could get any more focused than you already have been…” Bob says, causing the other two to laugh.

Mikey rolls his eyes, but smiles. He’s used to being the source of his friends’ and Gerard’s amusement.

“At least you’re committed though,” says Ray. “I mean, there’s no chance in hell that I could ever get a GPA of fucking 3.6.”

“Yeah, that’s true. You’re the most hardworking person I know. Hands down,” Gerard says genuinely, looking across the table at his brother. Gerard’s compliment causes Mikey to blush. “And that’s why you deserve a night of sushi and beer with your three favourite people!” he says enthusiastically.

“Yeah, Bob got us beer,” Ray says excitedly.

Bob reaches under the table, lifts up a red, 24-can case of Budweiser, and sets it down on the table. “He speaks the truth,” Bob says.

Mikey laughs. “Wow, thank you,” he says happily.

Bob opens the case of beer and hands a can to each of the others before placing the case back down on the floor. Their server comes around shortly, and they all order their meals before resuming their conversations.

Mikey feels so comfortable and at home in the presence of these three people. He feels free; he doesn’t have to worry about feeling awkward or fitting in. He can just _be_. It feels natural and it feels good. He’s happy in this moment and he forgets about all his worries. It’s his birthday, after all.

By the time their food arrives, Gerard is already finished his third beer, while Mikey is barely halfway through his first.

Mikey takes a bite of his first piece of sushi. “Mmm…so fuckin’ tasty,” he says as he chews.

Gerard chuckles and opens his fourth beer. “Now all you need is a good fuck. Then it’d be the perfect birthday, hey Mikey?” Gerard says with a smirk that makes Mikey’s face get all hot.

“Well _that’s_ obviously not happening tonight…” Mikey says. Bob slides another beer across the table towards Mikey. “I’m not even done my first one, Bob!” he exclaims.

“Well drink up, birthday boy—I bought these for you!” Bob laughs. “And so far it looks like Gerard is drinking your share…”

“What is that…your third one, Gerard?” Ray asks before taking a bite of a California roll.

Gerard holds up the can of beer with a pleased smile on his face. “Fourth,” he says.

Bob shakes his head. “My point exactly.”

“Anyway, going back to what Gerard said before… When exactly was the last time you had a good fuck, Mikey?” Ray questions. “I mean, I haven’t seen you with any new girls since Alicia…” he says.

Mikey’s face turns red as he becomes embarrassed. “I dunno…uh, I can’t really remember…” he lies unconvincingly, looking down at his plate of food. He doesn’t want to admit to his friends that he hasn’t had sex with anyone since Alicia broke up with him.

“Mikey hasn’t fucked anyone in two years,” Gerard blurts out.

Mikey doesn’t think he could ever feel any more embarrassed than he does now. “Wow, thanks Gerard…” he says, shooting his brother look of annoyance from across the table. He chugs the rest of his beer and then opens his second can.

“Fuck, dude…that’s rough,” Bob says compassionately.

“Yeah, it kind of is…” Mikey admits. “I try not to think about it though. Studying helps keep my mind off it.”

“Yeah, but locking yourself in your room all night studying doesn’t help you meet girls,” Gerard points out bluntly.

Mikey feels a twinge of discomfort when Gerard says “girls.” Ever since Alicia broke up with him, Mikey has come to realize that he’s not nearly as interested in girls as he is in guys. Mikey’s bisexual. But he doesn’t want to tell his friends yet, and Gerard respects this by referring to “girls” rather than “guys” as Mikey’s preferred sex when it comes to relationships.

“I think we should set you up on a blind date, Mikey,” Ray suggests.

Mikey quickly shakes his head and takes another sip of beer. “No way. No blind dates for me,” he says decisively.

“Why not?” asks Ray.

Mikey turns to look at Ray. “Dude, I get nervous buying groceries. There’s no way I could make it through a blind date.”

Gerard laughs amusedly. “It’s true. He never knows what to buy, and he freaks out if he ends up in a line with a hot cashier,” Gerard says. “It’s so cute,” he grins.

Mikey smiles. _Gerard thinks I’m cute_. He thinks to himself as the others laugh.

They all enjoy their meals as they talk and laugh together, and by the end of it, they are all too stuffed full of good sushi and beer to have dessert. Gerard, Ray and Bob split the bill.

“Mikey,” Gerard says. Mikey turns to look at his brother, who then tosses the car keys to him across the table. “Nice catch,” Gerard giggles.

“Thanks, drunkie.” Mikey rolls his eyes and stands up.

“It was fun hanging out again, man,” Ray says and gives Mikey another quick hug.

“I totally agree,” Mikey says. “I’ll try not to be such a recluse this semester,” he smiles at his friend.

“That’d be nice,” Ray chuckles. “Just do what you can. I know you already have a lot on your plate what with school and all,” he says.

Mikey smiles and nods, glad he has such an understanding best friend. He walks around the table, over to Bob, who hands him the case of beer.

“Whatever’s left is yours. Don’t let Gerard have any,” Bob smirks.

Mikey laughs. “Sure thing,” he says. “Thanks for comin’ out tonight. This is the most fun I’ve had in a while,” Mikey tells him.

“You should thank your brother over there,” Bob says, motioning toward Gerard, who’s swaying slightly as he talks to Ray. “He’s the one who called us up.”

“ _That_ drunk bastard?” Mikey laughs, looking over at Gerard.

“That’s the one,” Bob chuckles.

The four guys all leave the restaurant and then part ways after saying goodbye. Mikey gets into the driver’s seat of the silver Camaro while Gerard slumps into the passenger’s seat beside him.

“I can’t believe you’re drunk,” Mikey says as he drives them home.

“I can’t believe you’re _not_ drunk,” Gerard counters. He leans his head against the window and starts humming quietly along with the radio.

"We went out for dinner, Gerard, not to a fucking _rave_..." Mikey mutters as he stares out at the road.

They don’t speak to each other again until they get to the apartment and Mikey helps a stumbling Gerard inside.

“How many beers did you even have tonight?” Mikey questions as he shuts the door behind them.

“I had six beers, Mikey. And you know what? It was really fuckin’ fun,” Gerard slurs, looking like a maniac with his eyes all wide. “And then there’s you. Always straight as a fuckin’ arrow. Never loses control, never does anything wrong. Sometimes I wish you were still with that bitch Alicia, even though I hated her guts. You were actually _fun_ back then,” Gerard says as he slowly walks toward Mikey.

Mikey feels his heart start pounding from the uncertainty of the situation. He has no idea where Gerard is going with this.

Gerard walks even closer to Mikey and Mikey inches back towards the wall. “I miss the Mikey who hung out with friends on weekends… I miss the Mikey who snuck out with me to go see the Smashing Pumpkins when he was seventeen… I miss the Mikey who actually enjoyed talking to people… I miss the Mikey who wasn’t fucking afraid of everything!” Gerard continues his speech, all the while holding intense eye contact with Mikey as he inches even closer to him.

Mikey continues to back up slowly and jumps slightly when he feels his body hit the wall.

“Where the fuck did that Mikey go?” Gerard asks, his voice nearly a whisper.

Mikey’s heart continues to pound and he’s now aware of how close he is to Gerard. Their noses are only inches apart and he can feel Gerard’s breath against his face.

Mikey swallows hard. “Well, you’re not the person you used to be either,” Mikey says, trying to keep his voice even. “Y-you used to be such a happy guy. You know…with your art and your comics. And you used to have so much positive energy. A-and now…you’re just this depressed, lost guy who drinks too much and has no respect for his body,” Mikey finishes.

The two brothers stare at each other intensely for a moment and Mikey is positive that Gerard can hear his heart pounding—he’s certainly close enough. Gerard brings his hands up and puts them on Mikey’s shoulders, and Mikey swears that if they get any closer, he’s going to explode from the intense lust he feels for his brother.

“Well, we’re both fucked up then. I guess that’s why we get along so well,” Gerard slurs quietly. He gently squeezes Mikey’s shoulders and smiles at him with intoxicated eyes.

Mikey is on the verge of hyperventilating and feels he can’t take the proximity anymore without losing control and attacking Gerard’s soft, kissable lips. “Go to bed, Gerard. You’re drunk,” Mikey says breathily.

Gerard looks at Mikey for a second longer and then chuckles lightly, dropping his hands from his brother's shoulders. “Happy birthday,” he says before stumbling into his bedroom and shutting the door behind him.

Mikey lets out the huge breath he has been holding in and leans his head back against the wall, closing his eyes. His heart is still pounding, and his mind is still thinking about the feeling of Gerard’s breath against his skin…

He can only wonder one thing: _How the fuck am I gonna study after that?_

Classic Mikey.


	4. Chapter 4

Frank Iero checks the hallway mirror in his apartment one last time before he heads out the door, adjusting his hair to perfection. This isn’t just another day of college for Frank—it’s Friday, the day he gets to see Mikey again in his art history lecture. Frank grabs his keys and hurries out the door, even though he’s going to be half an hour early for class; he has to make sure he gets to the lecture theatre early enough that he can save a seat for Mikey.

As he walks to the bus stop outside his apartment building, Frank smiles to himself, thinking about Mikey, the cute third year English major he’d met last week. He hopes Mikey’s still up for going for drinks after class.

Frank has had one long-term boyfriend since he came out two years ago, and has hooked up with many other guys over these years. However, not one of those guys has ever sparked his interest in the way that Mikey does. Frank sees Mikey as this slightly awkward but totally adorable and smart guy who’s so easy to get along with once you get him talking. Frank usually finds himself gravitating towards dominant, slightly arrogant guys, which is the complete opposite of what Mikey is. That’s why he finds his attraction to Mikey so enthralling.

Half an hour later, Frank arrives at the university and walks towards his art history class. The hallways are always quieter than usual this late in the evening, and Frank likes the echoic sound his Converse-clad feet make as they hit the linoleum floors with each step he takes. Frank walks into the lecture theatre and sees that he is one of the first people there. He makes sure to sit down in the very back row. It’s not Frank’s favourite spot to sit—he prefers the middle rows—but when he’d seen Mikey sitting in the back last class, all cute and alone, he could not pass up the opportunity to sit next to him.

Closer to six-thirty, students begin to fill the lecture theatre and Frank bounces his legs up and down in energetic anticipation. He can’t wait to see Mikey. Frank cracks open his art history textbook to glance at the pages of reading he has neglected to do this week, just as he hears a voice to his left.

“Hey, Frank,” Mikey says.

Frank turns to look at Mikey and smiles. The tall, slender boy is wearing blue denim jeans that hug his hips and an Anthrax t-shirt underneath a black hoodie. Mikey’s eyes look tired beneath his glasses, but there’s still a subtle sparkle in his hazel orbs that kickstarts Frank’s pulse. He definitely likes what he sees.

“Hey, Mikey,” Frank says as Mikey sits down next to him. “Nice shirt,” he compliments.

“Thanks,” Mikey smiles, and Frank swears he sees Mikey’s cheeks turn a light shade of pink as he takes his textbook and notebook out of his messenger bag.

Mikey keeps his eyes down and opens his textbook, flipping through pages full of highlighter marks and notes at the edges. Frank smiles, thinking Mikey’s impressive study habits just add to the overload of cuteness he exudes.

“Someone did their readings…” Frank comments playfully, gesturing towards Mikey’s ink-abused textbook.

Mikey looks embarrassed and stops flipping pages. “Yeah, I like to write a lot of notes when I study,” he explains. “But then it sucks cause I can’t sell my textbooks; no one wants to buy a textbook full of yellow highlighter,” he says, adjusting his glasses with one hand.

Frank chuckles. “Yeah, no kidding,” he says, watching as Mikey brings his hand down to rest on the desktop. “I didn’t finish the readings for this week…” Frank admits.

Mikey nods. “Yeah, I almost didn’t get to finish either. I made a reading schedule for myself and I’ve been following it, but my brother took me out for my birthday on Tuesday night so I fell behind a little,” he says.

“Oh, well happy belated birthday!” Frank exclaims. “Now we definitely have to go out for drinks tonight to celebrate,” Frank smirks.

Mikey gives Frank a hesitant look which momentarily changes into a smile. “Yeah, let’s do that,” he decides with a nod.

Frank is happy and relieved to hear Mikey’s response.

Mikey isn’t very talkative during the art history lecture today, and Frank decides not to distract him even though he is painfully bored because he can tell that Mikey really wants to pay attention. However, Frank does glance over at Mikey every now and then, watching him as he absentmindedly chews on the edge of his pen.

_Even the way he chews his pen is sexy. Fuck._

Frank smirks to himself and shakes his head as he realizes that he’s not even one hundred percent sure that Mikey is into guys. However, Frank does pick up some sort of homosexual vibe from Mikey, although it’s mostly based on his tight jeans and his flat ironed hair—hardly grounds for any assumptions.

When the professor wraps up the lecture at eight-thirty, Frank swings his backpack over his shoulder while Mikey grabs his messenger bag, and they walk out of the lecture theatre together with the rest of the crowd of undergrads. They head outside and begin the short walk to the pub.

“I’ve never actually been to The Scarlet Pub,” Mikey says as they walk down the sidewalk, side by side.

“Seriously?” Frank asks. He is surprised by Mikey’s statement, as The Scarlet Pub is the most popular hangout on campus.

“Yeah,” Mikey nods. “I don’t go out much, to be honest. My brother pretty much had to force me to go out on my birthday,” he chuckles as he shoves his hands down in the pockets of his hoodie.

Frank smiles at Mikey’s sudden openness. “So I’m guessing going out for drinks with me is sort of out of your comfort zone then?”

“Sort of,” Mikey admits with a nervous smile. “But it’s good for me. I wanna try to be more social this semester.”

Frank nods as they cross the street—he can see the pub coming up ahead. “Was this like, a sudden decision?” he asks casually, not wanting to sound overly curious, even though he is. Frank wants to know everything about Mikey, and he’s glad Mikey’s finally loosening up a bit by being open with him.

“Well, I’ve been thinking about it since my birthday, actually. My brother got drunk, and he… said some things to me… It just made me want to change,” Mikey says.

Frank notices a certain look in Mikey’s eyes when he mentions his brother—perhaps an expression of strong admiration—and he can tell that Mikey’s brother is a very influential person in his life.

Frank is unsure of whether or not should ask Mikey what his brother had said to him, and soon decides that it might be too personal a question. So, he just nods.

“Is your brother older or younger than you?” Frank asks.

“Three years older,” Mikey replies. “I live with him, actually,” he says.

“Oh, that’s cool. I’m an only child,” Frank says.

“Do you live at home still?” Mikey asks.

Frank laughs. “Funny story actually…” he begins. “When I was a senior in high school I told my parents I was going to focus on my band instead of going to college, and I told them there was nothing they could do to change my mind. Anyway, they eventually resorted to bribing me into going to college. So, they got me an apartment and they’re paying my fucking rent while I slack off at college,” Frank explains with a huge grin on his face. He apparently finds this pretty funny.

Mikey’s eyes go wide as he hears Frank’s story. “They got you an apartment in exchange for you going to college?” he clarifies.

“Yeah!” Frank laughs. “They fucking spoil me to no end, and it’s awesome. But then I get so frustrated when I realize I’m not living my life for _me_ —I’m only going to college ‘cause they want me to. It’s kind of a waste…” he says.

Mikey nods. “Wow, that is a pretty good deal though…” he says. “But I totally understand about feeling like you’re living someone else’s life.”

Frank and Mikey arrive at The Scarlet Pub soon, and Frank is right—neither of them gets their I.D. checked before they go inside the crowded pub. As Frank makes his way through the crowded room to the bar, he keeps looking back to make sure he hasn’t lost Mikey.

“Can I buy you a drink? For your birthday?” Frank asks once they get to the bar, and he feels uncharacteristically shy when he says it.

Mikey smiles. “Sure, I’ll have a beer,” he says, raising his voice above the growing murmur of the crowd.

Frank gets the bartender’s attention, orders two beers, and then turns back to Mikey and hands him a bottle of Heineken.

“Thanks,” Mikey says and clinks his bottle against Frank’s.

“No problem,” Frank smiles, leaning his elbow on the bar counter.

“So, you were saying you were in a band?” Mikey says inquisitively before taking a sip of his drink.

Frank nods, swallowing the beer in his mouth before replying. “Yeah, I sing/scream and play guitar in a band called Pencey Prep. I actually talked to my cousin the other day and he said he might be able to get us a show at a local club on Halloween, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed,” Frank says. “It’d be pretty exciting ‘cause we’ve barely played any shows since I started college,” he adds.

“Wow, that’s awesome! I definitely wanna see you guys play sometime,” Mikey says genuinely. "And how cool would that be to play a show on your birthday?" he adds.

Frank can’t help but smile at Mikey’s enthusiasm. “Yeah, it would be pretty fucking awesome. I’ll let you know if we end up getting that gig,” he says.

They’re at the bar for a while, ordering a drink every now and then and talking about whatever comes to mind. After four beers, Frank starts to feel that familiar lightheaded feeling of being tipsy, and he notices that Mikey’s so much more animated when he’s got a few drinks in him.

“I’m such a fucking lightweight, Frank,” Mikey giggles, holding onto the bar counter to steady himself. His face is slightly flushed from the alcohol and he’s wearing this permanent grin on his face that Frank finds ridiculously cute.

“Are you drunk, Mikey?” Frank laughs amusedly. It’s the first time he’s heard Mikey swear.

“I’m a little drunk, yeah,” Mikey slurs with a slight smirk on his face.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have had that shot of vodka…” Frank says, touching Mikey’s forearm affectionately. Mikey had downed four beers like Frank, but he’d also had a shot of vodka on top of that, which Frank didn’t indulge in.

“I forgot how good it feels…being drunk,” Mikey sighs, looking at Frank with his intoxicated eyes.

Frank smiles. “Come on, I’ll take you home,” he says. Frank is slightly tipsy, but definitely not drunk—his mind is clear enough to know that Mikey needs to stop drinking and get home. He just hopes Mikey can remember the directions to his apartment in this state.

Mikey nods and Frank leads him out of the pub, grabbing his arm occasionally to steady him when he stumbles.

They finally make it outside, away from the heat and noise of the crowd. Frank gladly inhales the fresh, cool night air as he walks down the sidewalk with Mikey at his side. It’s nearly ten o’ clock.

“Which bus do you take?” Frank asks.

“The stop is right there,” Mikey says. He points straight ahead and trips over his feet a little. Frank puts his arm around Mikey’s waist to steady him, and he feels his fingers graze against the bare skin of Mikey’s hip where his t-shirt and hoodie have ridden up. He likes the feel of Mikey’s skin; it’s so warm and soft and unfamiliar…

Their bus arrives a couple minutes later, and Frank and Mikey get on and sit down together in a pair of seats. Frank’s heart flutters pleasantly when Mikey rests his head on his shoulder, sighing softly.

“You have to let me know where we get off,” Frank says, turning his head slightly so that he can feel Mikey’s soft, light brown hair against his cheek.

Mikey just groans in response, raising Frank’s concerns. “Hey, are you okay?” he asks, looking down at his friend.

“I’m gonna puke…” Mikey groans again.

“Like…right now?” Frank asks. He’s feeling slightly worried now…

“We get off at Baker Street,” Mikey slurs, completely ignoring Frank’s question. Frank just looks out the window at the street signs and hopes Mikey holds off on the puking until he gets home.

Frank helps Mikey off the bus when they get to Baker Street, and Mikey points him in the direction of his apartment building. When they get there, Mikey unlocks the door to the building and they go inside and take the elevator up to the sixth floor.

“Come on, Mikey…You actually have to move your feet,” Frank says as he helps Mikey down the hallway. It feels like he’s dragging Mikey along, and they’re going painfully slowly.

“Here,” Mikey says suddenly. He’s looking at the door that says ‘620’.

“Keys,” Frank prompts, still holding Mikey around the waist.

“Right.” Mikey reaches into his pocket, fishes out his house keys, and unlocks the door to the apartment. Frank turns the knob and pushes the door open, revealing the small space that Mikey calls home. Mikey blunders inside and Frank follows after him, thinking the apartment looks strangely familiar…

“Bathroom…gonna…puke…” Mikey groans as he staggers through the bathroom door on the left side of the narrow hallway. The light goes on and Frank hears the toilet seat go up before the sounds of heaving and watery splatters begin. Frank goes into the bathroom and sees Mikey on his knees in front of the toilet, puking up everything he’d had to eat and drink that night.

Frank kneels down next to Mikey by the toilet and rubs his back soothingly as he throws up. “You’re gonna feel so much better after this,” Frank assures him.

“What’s going on in here?” a new voice echoes through the small room, startling Frank.

Frank looks up and sees a twenty-something guy dressed in tight, black clothing standing in the doorway of the bathroom. His jet black hair falls messily across his forehead and his intensely curious expression when their eyes meet matches the one Frank wears on his own face.

Frank had hoped he’d never see Gerard again.

“Mikey, uh…had too much to drink…” Frank tells Gerard, feeling nervous for the first time in a long time despite the alcohol in his system.

“Mikey was drinking?” Gerard’s expression tells Frank that Mikey definitely doesn’t do this very often.

“Yeah,” Frank replies, trying to sound more confident than he felt. He continues to slowly rub Mikey’s back as he empties the contents of his stomach into the porcelain bowl.

“He was drinking with _you_ , Frankie?” Gerard says with a smirk.

Frank’s heart starts racing and he’s glad that Mikey had been too busy puking to notice when Gerard said his name. The last thing Frank wants is for Mikey to find out that he already knows Gerard, because then Frank would have to tell Mikey _how_ he knows Gerard…and that’s not something he’s prepared to do. He doesn't want to lose Mikey’s friendship over one stupid mistake he’d made in the summer of last year…

“Don’t,” Frank says quietly, looking up at Gerard with pleading eyes.

Gerard appears indifferent to Frank’s request, but nevertheless, he drops the teasing.

“What’d he drink?” Gerard asks, focusing his concern on Mikey now.

“Four beers and a shot of vodka,” Frank replies.

Gerard laughs and shakes his head. “Fuckin’ lightweight,” he says. “I’m surprised he actually took a shot…” he adds.

Mikey suddenly lets out a conclusive groan and both Frank and Gerard turn to see him lift his head up out of the toilet bowl.

“You alright, baby bro?” Gerard says affectionately, stepping into the bathroom to ruffle his brother’s hair. He grabs a blue towel off the rack by the sink and hands it to Mikey.

“Yeah, I’m alright now. Thanks,” Mikey says, wiping his mouth with the towel. His voice is hoarse and he sounds exhausted. “Did you guys introduce yourselves?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Frank says with a nod, glancing up at Gerard, who nods as well.

“Is Frank the super nice guy you were telling me about, Mikey? The guy who asked if you wanted to go for drinks?” Gerard asks.

Mikey’s face reddens. “Yeah,” he says, giving Gerard a glare.

Frank bites his lip and holds back a smile. He's ecstatic that Mikey thinks he's ‘super nice’.

“Oh, just wondering,” Gerard says casually before leaving the room.

Mikey turns to look at Frank as they’re both still kneeling by the toilet. “Thanks for putting up with me tonight,” he blushes, slurring his words. He adjusts his glasses nervously before continuing. “And thanks for bringing me home,” he says.

“It’s no problem, Mikey,” Frank smiles. “I really had fun tonight,” he says sincerely. Frank really had enjoyed talking to Mikey and getting to know him better throughout the course of the evening.

“Yeah I had fun, too. Evidently too much fun…” Mikey chuckles.

Frank laughs and stands up, holding his hand out to Mikey, who takes it and uses it as leverage to pull himself up off the bathroom floor.

Mikey sways a little on the spot and holds onto Frank’s arm for support. “You have a cute laugh, Frank,” Mikey smiles.

Frank’s lips form a smile and he feels his face get hot. He and Mikey are looking into each other’s eyes intensely and Frank thinks he would have kissed Mikey if Mikey didn’t have vomit on his breath.

“I think I’m gonna go to bed; I feel like a drunken mess,” Mikey says suddenly, snapping Frank out of his thoughts.

“Yeah, I think sleep would be good for you right now,” Frank agrees.

Mikey yawns. “I guess Gerard will let you out,” he says with a sleepy sigh.

Frank gets butterflies in his stomach when he hears Gerard’s name. “Alright. Good night, Mikey,” he smiles.

“Good night,” Mikey smiles back before heading off to his bedroom.

Frank takes a deep breath before stepping out of the bathroom and into the hallway. “Gerard?” he calls out quietly.

“In the kitchen,” sounds Gerard’s voice.

Frank goes towards the kitchen and sees Gerard standing in front of the sink, filling a glass with water from the tap. Gerard looks up when he sees Frank standing there.

“Small world, hey?” Gerard says, shutting off the tap once the glass is filled.

“Yeah, no kidding…” Frank murmurs, leaning against the doorframe. “Are you going out tonight? Not that I care, just making conversation,” Frank says. He tries hard not to stare at Gerard’s perfect ass in his tight black jeans.

Gerard chuckles. “I forgot how cheeky you are,” he says. “And no, I’m not going out. I was going to, but Mikey needs a good night’s sleep tonight. I wouldn’t want to wake him up, if you know what I mean. Well, of course you know what I mean…” Gerard says with that signature arrogant smirk on his face.

Frank sighs. “Just don’t tell Mikey. Please?”

“Aww, why not, Frankie?” Gerard pouts playfully, putting one hand on his hip.

“He wouldn’t wanna be friends with me if he knew,” Frank says directly, ignoring Gerard’s dramatic display.

“Yeah, I think you’re probably right. I think he automatically hates everyone I’ve fucked, just ‘cause they distract him when he’s studying. And, if I do recall…you were quite vocal when I was fu—”

“Ugh, do you have to talk about it?!” Frank whispers loudly, cutting off Gerard. He feels his face become red with anger and embarrassment.

“Why not? We both know it happened…” Gerard shrugs. He opens a cupboard and takes out a bottle of Aspirin, shelling two pills out into his hand. “You were practically begging me to fuck you that night, Frankie,” Gerard says as he puts the cap back on the bottle.

Frank hates how casually Gerard says it—he just throws it around like it doesn’t matter, like Frank is just something he can “fuck” and then toss aside.

Frank takes a deep breath and tries not to lash out and yell at Gerard. “I’m just so out of that lifestyle now…and hearing about it makes me sick. I’m not like that anymore…” Frank says.

“You mean you’re not a slut anymore,” Gerard clarifies, crossing his arms across his chest.

Frank finds himself biting the inside of his lip so hard to keep himself from spewing out a string of profanities at Gerard. His heart is racing from the adrenaline of anger coursing through his veins. He cannot believe Gerard has just called him a slut.

“You know what amazes me?” Frank says, trying hard to keep his voice even. “The fact that you’re such a fucking asshole, yet your brother is one of the sweetest guys I’ve ever met,” he says.

Gerard narrows his eyes, deep in thought for a moment. “Are you into Mikey?” he asks.

Frank swallows hard and doesn’t reply, although he definitely knows the answer to this question.

Gerard nods and smiles, apparently figuring out the answer. “So, you know Mikey would never date you if he found out you had sex with me, and that’s why you want me to keep it a secret so badly,” he says, smirking with a mischievous look in his eyes.

“Precisely,” Frank admits through gritted teeth. Somewhere through his anger, a little part of Frank is elated that Gerard hadn't brought up anything like, 'Mikey's straight'. And Frank knows that Gerard would never pass up the opportunity to crush his hopes.

“Wow,” Gerard chuckles. “I didn’t think you of all people would go for a guy like Mikey.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Frank snaps angrily. Once again, he feels his irritation towards Gerard build up again. “I told you I’m not like that anymore.”

Gerard laughs, apparently amused by the situation, although Frank can see nothing remotely funny about it. “I love this hostile vibe you’ve got going—it’s sexy,” Gerard says, leaning against the kitchen counter.

“Go to hell, Gerard,” Frank glares.

“Oh relax, Frankie. You know I just like teasing you,” Gerard smiles. “And I won’t tell Mikey—some things are just better left unknown.”

“You'd better not,” Frank warns.

Gerard rolls his eyes. “Not even a ‘Thank you, Gerard’?” he asks. Frank ignores this; he’s too annoyed to deal with Gerard’s sarcasm.

“I’m going home,” Frank says.

“Alright. I’m gonna go put these in Mikey’s room,” Gerard says, holding up the glass of water and the two white pills. “You can let yourself out,” he adds before walking out of the kitchen.

Frank stands there alone for a second, leaning against the doorframe to the kitchen.

_“You can let yourself out.”_

Those familiar words remind Frank of that awful morning in July of last year that made him never want to see Gerard again… That morning when Gerard had kicked Frank out of bed, telling him:

_“I have a fucking huge headache. Just put your clothes on and go. You can let yourself out.”_

Frank blinks back tears as he dwells on the horrible, humiliating memory. He wishes it had never happened.

He wishes he had never lost his virginity to Gerard.


	5. Chapter 5

Mikey wakes up on Saturday morning feeling as though he’d been hit in the head with a sledgehammer multiple times the night before. He opens his eyes and sits up in bed, wincing as the pounding pain in his head intensifies. When he reaches for his glasses on the bedside table, he’s pleasantly surprised by what he sees: A glass of water and two Aspirins. It’s just what he needs. Mikey smiles and puts on his glasses before popping the pills and downing the full glass of water. It’s only when he drinks the purifying liquid that he realizes what an awful taste he has in his mouth—a reminder of his Friday night.

Mikey lets out a groan as the memory of last night comes flooding back into his mind. He feels so guilty that Frank had to put up with his drunkenness last night, but at the same time, he admires Frank for taking care of him so willingly. Even so, Mikey’s still nervous to see him in class again on Friday.

Mikey gets out of bed and puts on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt before making his way into the hallway where the pleasant aroma of fresh coffee wafts towards him from the kitchen and the sound of the TV softly murmuring in the living room floats to his ears. He goes into the bathroom to brush his teeth—getting the awful vomit taste out of his mouth is priority number one. Next is coffee. Mikey sighs when he sees his reflection in the mirror as he brushes his teeth; his hair is hopelessly messy, he has dark circles under his eyes, and his skin looks pale and dull from dehydration. He decides that a shower is his third priority.

Following the scent of coffee, Mikey goes into the kitchen. He sees a half-empty pot of coffee on the counter and pours himself a cup of the energizing liquid before going into the living room where Gerard is lounging on their beat up couch, drawing something on a sketchpad full of white paper while the TV flashes images with the volume turned down low. Mikey smiles at the fact that Gerard is drawing. It reminds him of old times. Gerard has a concentrated expression on his face as he moves the charcoal pencil quickly over the page and he brushes his longish black hair off of his face every so often when it falls in front of his eyes. He’s wearing his favourite black jeans with an emerald-green t-shirt, instead of his regular all black attire.

“Morning,” Mikey says after a moment of watching his brother. He walks over to the couch and sits down next to Gerard, frowning when Gerard guardedly turns the notepad over on his lap.

“Morning,” Gerard returns, casually tapping the pencil against his knee.

“You drawing something?” Mikey asks. He sips his lukewarm coffee and enjoys the soothing feeling of it rolling down his throat. His headache is already beginning to fade slightly.

Gerard shrugs. “Yeah, nothing special,” he says, making no move to show Mikey what he’d been drawing. “How’s your hangover?” he asks, changing the subject.

“Awful, like every other hangover…” Mikey says, taking another sip of coffee. “Thanks for the pills and water, by the way,” he smiles.

“Oh, no problem,” Gerard says. He adjusts his position on the couch, turning his body to face Mikey with an expression of interest on his face. “So…you and Frank, huh?” he says, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively with a playful smirk on his face.

“Yeah…what about us?” Mikey says defensively.

Gerard shakes his head. “I’m just surprised that you actually took up his offer to go for drinks—it’s kind of out of character for you,” he says. “And on top of that, you even got drunk. Makes me wonder what kind of hold this Frank guy has on you…”

“Yeah, well, you’re always telling me I need to get out more…so I did,” Mikey explains.

Gerard raises an eyebrow at his brother. “So, that was all because of what I said?” he asks.

“Well…yeah, I guess so,” Mikey blushes. He takes a sip of coffee to distract himself from his increasing heart rate.

“Wow, Mikey…I never realized I had that big of an influence on you,” Gerard smiles.

Mikey finds himself blushing again as he stares at Gerard. _That smile…oh my God…_ He thinks to himself. He takes another sip of coffee.

“So, you accepting Frank’s invitation last night had nothing to do with the fact that he’s fuckin’ gorgeous?” Gerard asks curiously.

Mikey nearly chokes on his coffee. “What?” he asks, not sure he’d heard correctly.

Gerard laughs, presumably at how red Mikey’s face has gotten in the last three seconds. “You have to admit that he’s hot, Mikey,” he says.

Mikey shrugs. “Sure, yeah,” he says, trying to sound casual while his face is burning. Of course Frank is gorgeous. You’d have to be blind not to notice how good looking he is, with all his tattoos and piercings, that sincere smile, and those hazel eyes all full of youthful energy.

But in Mikey’s opinion, Frank doesn’t even come close to Gerard in terms of looks—Gerard is the epitome of sexy.

On top of his looks, Mikey thinks Gerard has the perfect personality balance: thoughtful and creative with a pinch of arrogant and blunt. Mikey loves all the sweet, thoughtful things Gerard says and does, he admires Gerard’s artistic qualities, and he just lights up when he sees Gerard giving some deserving person a piece of his mind. He loves seeing his brother take control.

“Did you talk to him at all last night?” Mikey asks, focusing the conversation on an aspect other than Frank’s attractiveness.

“A little,” Gerard says uninterestedly, twirling the pencil around with his fingers.

“He’s so easy to get along with, isn’t he?” Mikey says. “I can’t believe he went through the trouble of bringing me home last night.”

Gerard shrugs. “He’s okay,” he says. “He seemed like kind of a dick,” he adds.

Mikey furrows his brow when Gerard says this. “Are we talking about the same person here?” he asks.

“Yeah, I just don’t see why you think he’s so great of a guy,” Gerard says simply. “Then again, I’m just going on first impressions here,” he adds. Gerard stands up, looking strangely uncomfortable, and puts his sketchpad down on the coffee table.

“Where’re you going?” Mikey asks.

“Coffee refill,” Gerard says and picks up a black mug that’s sitting on the coffee table next to the sketchpad. He walks into the kitchen without another word.

Mikey uses Gerard’s absence as an opportunity to look at the drawing he’d been doing on his sketchpad. He puts down his near-empty mug and grabs the sketchpad off the coffee table, flipping it over to the side that has the drawing on it. Mikey smiles at what he sees and even feels his eyes sting slightly with sentimental tears.

On the sketchpad, Gerard has drawn a picture of an oak tree with long, gnarly branches, all shaded in with great detail. In the drawing, there’s something carved into the bark on the trunk of the tree: It’s the initials E.L.R. inside of a heart—the initials of Mikey and Gerard’s late grandmother. Mikey blinks back tears as he remembers. It was two years ago that he’d watched Gerard carve this exact marking into the tree in their parents’ backyard after their grandmother’s funeral.

In a way, Mikey thinks art is Gerard’s version of therapy. He’s happy that Gerard is able to express his thoughts and feelings through drawing since he’s not always willing or able to express them through words. Mikey contemplates saying something to Gerard about the drawing but then decides against it; the drawing is obviously personal, considering Gerard hadn’t even shown it to Mikey.

Mikey wipes his eyes, puts the sketchpad back on the table, and then goes to take a shower before returning to his bedroom to prepare for his full-day study session. Mikey’s therapy is studying. He takes out his textbooks, notebooks, pens and highlighters and situates himself on his bed—his favourite study spot. He’ll be studying until dinnertime, so he might as well get comfy.

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Gerard pours himself a second cup of coffee, still not feeling fully awake yet even though it’s almost noon and he’s been up drawing since nine. Before Gerard dropped out of art school, drawing used to help him deal with stress. After feeling the stress that his lifestyle of excessive alcohol and sex brought into his life last night (in the form of a guy named Frank), Gerard has decided to start training himself to resume the habit of drawing instead of using self-destructive actions as a means to cope. It’s definitely easier said than done. Gerard sighs when he remembers how much he’d tossed and turned in bed last night with his thoughts racing. They were mostly thoughts about Frank.

He still cannot believe it. Frank—some random kid he’d brought home from the club one night over a year ago—is suddenly friends with Mikey. But the part he really hates is the fact that Frank has a crush on Mikey. If Frank and Mikey ever start dating, Gerard will feel like he’s betraying Mikey by keeping his and Frank’s secret. Gerard knows that Frank would never dream of telling Mikey the truth (Frank would rather lie to Mikey’s face than put their friendship in jeopardy) and Gerard knows that he himself is only keeping the secret because Mikey has finally made a friend at college; Gerard doesn’t want to take that gift of friendship away from his brother. But Gerard feels he has to prevent a romantic relationship from forming between Mikey and Frank; it has always been his instinct to protect his younger brother. He has to protect Mikey from getting his heart broken by this indecent secret.

Gerard takes a sip of his coffee, and makes a disgusted face when he finds it’s now cold from sitting in the pot all morning. He sighs and decides to make some mac and cheese since it’s lunchtime. He takes out a small silver pot, milk, butter and a box of mac and cheese, following the directions on the box. He’s finished cooking in no time. Gerard puts some of the cheesy noodles into a bowl with a spoon and makes his way to Mikey’s room.

Gerard always seems to find himself having to remind Mikey to eat—Mikey gets so caught up in his studies that he forgets that he needs to make time for more important things—and it’s not like Mikey can really afford to get any thinner than he already is. Gerard has been taking care of his younger brother ever since they were kids and he has grown to enjoy it.

“Hey,” Gerard says, knocking twice on Mikey’s bedroom door before opening it. Mikey is sitting up in bed reading a thick literature textbook. “Remember food? You kind of need it if you think you’re going to retain any of that information you’re studying…” he says, walking over to Mikey and handing him the bowl.

“Aww, thanks Gee,” Mikey smiles warmly as he looks up at Gerard. He takes the hot bowl and sets it down on top of his textbook.

“I’m working the late shift today,” Gerard tells him.

“Really?” Mikey says empathetically, taking a bite of mac and cheese.

“Yeah. I’m definitely not stoked. Especially since it’s Saturday night,” Gerard says. Saturday is his favourite night to go out because it always seems to him like the guys in the clubs are ten times hotter on weekends. But then again, staying away from the club for one night is probably best, considering he's now trying to train himself to not be so dependent on alcohol and sex.

“Hey, by the way…did you go out last night after I got home?” Mikey asks.

Gerard shakes his head. “No. I didn’t wanna wake you up since you were all drunk and everything,” he replies.

A look of gratitude appears in Mikey’s eyes. “You’re really awesome, you know that?” he smiles.

Gerard shrugs casually, giving off an impression of indifference, but in his heart he feels glad to have made Mikey happy. “Anything for my baby bro,” he grins before leaving the room.


	6. Chapter 6

It’s the second week of October and the cloud of stress that is the midterm season is looming over Mikey’s head. On a Sunday morning, he’s reading through his textbooks and making notes as he sits at the dining room table in the apartment, while Gerard is sitting on the couch, softly singing a Radiohead song under his breath as he works on his latest drawing. Mikey smiles, listening to Gerard’s perfect singing voice over the sound of his charcoal pencil gracing the sketchpad. He swears his older brother is good at everything.

“Hey, Mikey…can you get me a beer?” Gerard suddenly asks from across the room.

Mikey looks up from his reading and stares at Gerard. “You’ve barely been awake for an hour and you already wanna start drinking?” he says, raising an eyebrow.

“You’re the best brother ever,” Gerard says with a cute grin, trying to win Mikey over.

Mikey rolls his eyes and gets up from his seat. “Fine…” he says. He goes into the small kitchen and opens the fridge, grabbing a can of Diet Coke instead of beer. He goes over to Gerard and holds the can out to him.

“Ugh…seriously, Mikey?” Gerard says when he sees that Mikey didn’t bring beer, but he laughs when Mikey grins and plops himself down onto his lap.

Mikey smiles. “I love you too much to let you start drinking at ten in the morning,” he says, putting his arm around Gerard. Mikey’s heart is pounding from the proximity, but he can’t help but love the way his heart flutters for his brother. “Do you want this or not?” he asks, holding up the can of Diet Coke.

“No…I asked for beer,” Gerard says.

“I can just never win with you, can I?” Mikey laughs, setting the can of soda down on the floor.

“Nope,” Gerard smiles, showing off his cute little teeth, the ones that Mikey find so beautiful.

Mikey blushes and looks away momentarily. “Can I see your drawing?” he asks, taking the attention away from himself.

Gerard hands Mikey the sketchpad he’s holding in his hand. “It’s just a shitty little drawing of some made up cartoon monster,” he shrugs.

Mikey takes the sketchpad and examines Gerard’s artwork in awe. “How can you say this is shitty?” Mikey asks, looking up from the drawing and into Gerard’s warm, hazel eyes.

“It’s just not my best work,” Gerard says simply.

Mikey looks at the drawing again, overwhelmed by Gerard’s creativity and artistic ability; in Mikey’s eyes, the drawing is amazing.

“Gerard, you’re honestly the most talented person I know—and I’m not just saying that because you’re my brother,” Mikey says. He puts the sketchpad down on the couch and adjusts his position on Gerard’s lap. “I don’t know anyone else who’s as creative and original as you are. You’re a fucking genius,” he says.

Gerard stares at Mikey for a moment with his warm, smiling eyes. “Wow…I—thank you Mikey. That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me. Thank you,” Gerard says. He leans in and softly kisses Mikey’s cheek affectionately, his lips warm against Mikey’s skin.

Mikey’s whole world freezes for a moment—it’s as if someone has pressed the pause button, leaving the moment all still and quiet. Mikey’s cheek tingles in the spot where Gerard’s lips had been only seconds before, and he feels his body get all warm as those familiar fuzzy feelings fill his chest.

_Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God… Gerard just kissed me. Holy fuck. I need to calm down…_

“Mikey?” Gerard asks, snapping Mikey out of his thoughts. Gerard brushes his jet-black hair off of his face and looks at his brother quizzically.

Mikey looks at Gerard and tries hard to hold himself back, but his need and love for his brother is overpowering… Mikey needs this.

He leans in and pecks Gerard on the lips, letting his lips linger on Gerard’s for a second before pulling away. Mikey looks at Gerard, desperately searching his face for some sort of reaction, and hoping it won't be a bad one.

Gerard raises an eyebrow and looks slightly shocked for a moment, but then a smirk appears on his face. “I think you missed my cheek…” he says.

Mikey chuckles and blushes. “Really? I guess I’ll have to try again then…” Mikey says before attaching his lips to Gerard’s once again. He just cannot resist… This time Mikey sucks gently on Gerard’s bottom lip, getting it nice and wet and enjoying the feeling of being so connected to his brother. He knows it’s “immoral” and “wrong” to want Gerard in this way, but fuck…it feels so _good_. Mikey can’t believe his heart has the ability to pound as hard as it is now…

Gerard doesn’t kiss back at first, but when Mikey’s tongue pushes its way through Gerard’s closed lips, Gerard’s mouth opens willingly and he starts moving his lips slowly along with Mikey’s. Their tongues are now dancing together, gliding against each other with moist warmness. Mikey feels almost lightheaded from the overwhelming emotions he feels: love, happiness, anxiety, excitement, lust, horniness… Gerard evidently has profound effects on Mikey.

Mikey is kissing Gerard, and Gerard is kissing Mikey, and Mikey doesn’t know how the fuck this is actually happening. All he knows is that he loves it and that he never wants it to stop. It’s better than all the fantasies he has ever had about kissing Gerard. A million times better.

Mikey’s getting increasingly turned on—he’s feeling some tightness in his jeans as he starts to get hard, but ignores it. All he cares about right now is being with Gerard. In the heat of the moment, Mikey tangles his fingers in Gerard’s longish black hair and lightly moans into his mouth. It’s only when Gerard suddenly pulls away that Mikey realizes what he’s done.

“Okay, that’s enough…” Gerard laughs awkwardly, gently pushing Mikey off his lap. Gerard’s cheeks are pink and it’s the first time in years that Mikey has seen his brother blush.

Mikey is breathing hard and his face is flushed from embarrassment. “Sorry. I don’t know…it just happened…” he says nervously.

“It’s fine, Mikey…I get it,” Gerard says, looking over at Mikey. “It’s probably been two years since you’ve kissed anyone like that, right?” he says.

“Well, yeah…” Mikey nods. He’s surprised that Gerard is taking this weird situation so well.

Gerard shrugs. “Well, it’s normal to wanna do it,” he says, then smiles to himself. “But I have to say: The hair-grabbing and moaning and shit was kinda weird…I wasn’t expecting you to take it that far. You’re obviously too horny for your own good,” Gerard laughs.

Mikey feels his face get hot with even more embarrassment. “Yeah, I don’t even know why I did that…” he says.

“Anyway, I think you owe me that beer now…” Gerard smirks.

Mikey looks at Gerard and nods. “Yeah, I think I do,” he chuckles awkwardly.

Mikey gets up from the couch and goes into the kitchen again. All he’s thinking about is the kiss and how horny he is now…

 _How the fuck am I gonna stay in this apartment all day when all I wanna do is pounce on him?_ Mikey wonders as he grabs a can of beer out of the fridge. His slight erection is going down now, but he’s still as horny as ever.

Mikey suddenly thinks of a solution: He’ll go to Frank’s place to study so he can keep his mind (and eyes) off Gerard. He’s never been to Frank’s apartment before, but he’s hoping Frank is willing to have guests over. Mikey just feels it’s best if he’s away from Gerard, at least until his raging hormones subside…


	7. Chapter 7

Frank is sitting alone on the floor in the corner of the living room in his quiet apartment, flipping through his messy art history notes and thinking he probably should have paid more attention during the lectures instead of staring at Mikey the whole time.

Frank and Mikey have been hanging out more often at college; they’ve found they have a few common breaks in their schedules and have met up for coffee and casual conversation on quite a few occasions. Frank always enjoys Mikey’s company: Mikey’s really sweet, adorable and easygoing. He’s easily one of Frank’s favourite people to be around.

Frank sighs as he looks down at his notes. He feels like giving up. It’s ten-thirty on Sunday morning and the art history midterm is on Monday. He has just begun studying. Frank lets out an exasperated sigh and continues his mission to make sense of his messy, handwritten notes.

His phone starts vibrating just as he settles down, and being glad for the distraction, he picks it up right away. He sees that it’s Mikey and smiles as he accepts the call.

“Hey Mikey, what’s up?” Frank says.

“Just studying, as usual. What’s up with you?” Mikey replies.

“Well, I’m _trying_ to study…” Frank laughs. “I just looked through my art history notes and realized I don’t even understand half the shit I wrote down,” he says.

“Seriously? Did you read the textbook?” Mikey questions.

“I read _some_ of it…” Frank replies, passively making random scribbles on the cover of his notebook. Frank had fallen behind on his readings in the second week of the semester and had never bothered to catch up.

“Hey, maybe we could meet up today and I could, like…help you?” Mikey suggests, almost hopefully.

Frank is pleasantly surprised to hear Mikey say this, considering Frank has always been the one to initiate hanging out ever since they met.

“Um, yeah. That would be really awesome,” Frank says happily. “Where and when do you wanna meet up?”

“Is it okay if I meet you at your place? I just need a change of scenery…” Mikey says. “And is now okay?”

Frank suddenly panics—he’s not ready at all. He’s wearing pajama pants with a worn-out t-shirt, he’s not wearing any eyeliner, and his hair isn’t styled in the least. But Frank wants to please Mikey. If Mikey wants to meet up now, Frank will make it happen.

“Yeah, that’s totally fine,” Frank says. He gives Mikey his address and then tells Mikey he’ll see him soon before ending the call and racing to his bedroom to get ready.

It takes Frank a few minutes to actually decide what to wear, and then he finally tugs on a pair of black skinny jeans and a black Misfits t-shirt before smudging on some eyeliner and making his hair look presentable. Just as Frank is finished getting ready, he hears a knock at the door. He takes one last look in the mirror, and then goes to the door to let Mikey in.

“Hey,” Mikey smiles after Frank opens the door to the apartment. Mikey’s looking as cute as ever, wearing his blue denim jeans with a moderately tight black-and-white striped shirt. He’s wearing his messenger bag on one shoulder and carrying his art history textbook in one hand.

“Hey, Mikey. Come on in,” Frank smiles back at his friend. He’s so excited to see Mikey even though it has only been a couple days since they went out for a bite to eat after their art history lecture on Friday. It has been Frank’s goal to get Mikey to spend more time hanging out and less time holed up in his apartment with Gerard, and so far he is succeeding.

Mikey steps into the small apartment and takes his shoes off as Frank shuts the door behind him.

“You got here pretty fast,” Frank comments, walking into the living room with Mikey following behind him.

“Yeah, Gerard let me borrow his car since he’s not working today. Definitely a lot faster than taking the bus,” Mikey says.

They get to the living room and Frank chuckles when he sees Mikey raise an eyebrow as he looks at Frank’s study space: In the corner of the living room there are papers strewn about, textbooks lying open and pens and highlighters left uncapped and abandoned on the carpet.

“Okay, I can see you don’t have a desk…but is there a reason you don’t sit on the couch while you study?” Mikey asks. He’s wearing this cute confused expression on his face that makes Frank’s heart melt.

Frank shrugs. “I like the floor ‘cause I have so much space to spread everything out,” he says. He sits down on the floor among the papers and looks up at Mikey. “You can sit on a pillow if your ass starts getting sore. I’m used to it by now,” he smirks.

Mikey laughs and shakes his head. He takes off his messenger bag and sets it down on the floor before sitting down across from Frank. “This is the most bizarre studying arrangement…” Mikey says, looking around at the mess on the floor. “But who knows—I might learn to like it,” he smiles.

Frank watches as Mikey takes his notebook out of his messenger bag and flips to the section in which he has his art history notes.

“So, you don’t understand any of your notes, you said?” Mikey asks, flipping through some pages.

“Well yeah, pretty much. I guess I didn’t pay enough attention in class to be able to relate the notes to anything. And it’s even harder since I didn’t do most of the readings,” Frank says.

“Show them to me,” Mikey says, looking up from his book.

Frank gathers some of the scattered papers together and hands them to Mikey. “I doubt you’ll be able to read my scrawl, but you can try…” Frank says.

As Mikey reads Frank’s notes, Frank watches Mikey’s expression gradually become more and more confused, to the point where his mouth is slightly hanging open and his brow is furrowed in concentration.

Mikey puts down Frank’s notes after a while and looks up at him. “Wow,” he says simply, adjusting his glasses.

“I told you they were bad!” Frank laughs, grabbing his notes out of Mikey’s hands.

“Yeah, but you didn’t tell me they were _that_ bad…” Mikey counters, holding back a smile.

“Well now you can see how screwed I am, right?” Frank says.

Mikey nods. “Yep, definitely,” he chuckles. “But don’t worry: You can look at my notes and I’ll explain everything to you. The prof said the exam is going to be based on all the lecture notes, so if you understand them you’ll do fine,” Mikey assures Frank.

Frank smiles. “Thanks,” he says.

“No problem,” Mikey returns. He flips some pages in his notebook and then hands it to Frank. “Here’s where the notes start. Read through them and let me know if you want me to explain anything,” Mikey says.

Frank nods and okays, and then takes the notebook and begins reading though Mikey’s art history notes. Frank can’t believe how much neater, organized and relevant Mikey’s notes are compared to his own: Everything has a heading, every term is defined, and the notes are even colour coded. Frank wonders to himself if it’s weird to be turned on by Mikey’s superior note taking abilities…

“Hey, I have a question…” Frank asks suddenly, coming to a new topic in Mikey’s notes.

“Yeah?” Mikey says, looking up from his textbook.

“You wrote that ‘society was often reflected in Roman imperial portraiture’ and I was wondering how exactly it was reflected…” Frank says.

“Oh, well it was mostly during the decline of the Roman Empire in the West. Imperial portraiture reflected the stress afflicting the Empire at that time,” Mikey explains flawlessly.

“Wow, thank you. You’re like, fucking Wikipedia…it’s awesome,” Frank laughs.

Mikey blushes and smiles and Frank can’t even comprehend how this much perfection could fit into one person. Mikey’s completely adorable and modest and sweet and smart and Frank is so attracted to him. Mikey just always has this way of making Frank’s heart pound and become still at the same time… Maybe it’s the fact that Mikey’s so innocent (mixed in with the fact that Frank is anything but innocent) that causes Frank to be so drawn to Mikey. Frank’s not sure. All he’s sure of is that Mikey is the embodiment of perfection.

Frank and Mikey study quietly for a while, with Frank asking questions every now and then. As Frank continues to read through Mikey’s notes, in his peripheral vision he sees Mikey staring at him, and when he looks up, Mikey looks away. This occurs a few more times as they study silently.

“Do you want a drink or anything?” Frank offers, sensing that Mikey is getting a bit distracted.

Mikey looks up from his textbook. “No, I’m alright, thanks,” he smiles.

Frank looks at Mikey, taking in his adorable smile. He feels as though he’s wasting his time by just staring at this beautiful boy and not making any sort of attempt to _get_ this beautiful boy. Frank wants to change this.

“Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?” Frank begins, setting the notebook down on the floor in front of him.

Mikey looks up once again. “I dunno…it depends on the question. I won’t know if I mind it ‘til I hear it,” he says.

Frank nods. “Fair enough,” he says. “Can I ask you said personal question and then you can decide whether or not you want to answer it?” he asks.

“Sure,” Mikey agrees, looking at Frank in anticipation.

“Okay. And I’m really sorry if this offends you, but I was just wondering: Are you gay or bisexual, or like…interested in guys at all?” Frank asks.

Mikey stares at Frank after hearing the question and Frank notices Mikey’s face redden.

“Um…why do you ask?” Mikey says. He tries to sound nonchalant, but his blushing face gives him away.

“Well, ‘cause I’m gay, and I dunno…I was just wondering,” Frank shrugs. He suddenly becomes too nervous to confess that he has a crush on Mikey—he doesn’t want to creep Mikey out.

Mikey raises an eyebrow in surprise when he hears Frank admit his sexuality, and he seems to relax a little bit, to Frank’s astonishment.

“Well, to be honest, yeah I’m bisexual,” Mikey admits. He lets out a deep breath and adjusts his glasses. “You’re the first person I’ve told—well, besides Gerard—so it’s kind of weird for me…” he says.

“I completely understand,” Frank nods. “You didn’t have to tell me if you didn’t want to, you know,” he says.

“I wanted to,” Mikey assures him with a smile. “I trust you, Frank. You’ve been such a good friend to me,” he says.

Frank smiles genuinely and tries not to think about the fact that he’d lost his virginity to Mikey’s older brother and hadn’t told Mikey about it. So he just smiles like he has nothing to feel guilty about. Ignorance is bliss.

But, other than that, Frank is overjoyed: He actually has a chance with Mikey! Sure, he’d pretty much already known that Mikey wasn’t straight after talking to Gerard that one night, but if he hadn’t asked Mikey himself, he wouldn’t be able to explain to Mikey how he knew without somehow revealing his secret connection to Gerard.

“I remember you telling me about this girl you used to date, but have you ever been with a guy?” Frank questions. His curiosity is killing him.

Mikey shakes his head and blushes. “No, never,” he admits.

Frank raises an eyebrow. “ _Never_?” he asks. “Never as in you’ve never had an actual relationship with a guy, right?”

Mikey shakes his head again. “Never as in I’ve only ever kissed one guy…” he says.

Frank’s eyes go wide in shock. “Mikey, you’re bisexual and you’ve only kissed one guy?” he asks.

Mikey’s cheeks become even pinker and he looks a little uncomfortable. “Yeah,” he says quietly.

“Wow…” Frank says, shaking his head. “It’s just surprising ‘cause you’re so cute…I’d think the guys would be all over you,” he adds.

Mikey laughs and blushes even more. “You think I’m cute?” he asks, seemingly surprised.

“Fuck yeah,” Frank smiles. “You’re like…the cutest, smartest, sweetest guy I’ve ever met,” Frank says.

Mikey smiles and looks embarrassed. “Well, I appreciate the compliment,” he says.

“You know…I could be your second guy-kiss if you want?” Frank says boldly, smiling as he feels his heart rate increase.

Mikey smiles and bites his bottom lip in a way that makes Frank squirm with pleasant tingly feelings. “I don’t know if it’ll be as good as my first one, but you can try…” he smirks playfully.

Frank loves this new side of Mikey. “Alright,” Frank says, accepting the challenge.

Frank moves some of the papers aside, shifts onto his knees and shuffles closer towards Mikey, looking into his eyes all the while. Mikey’s smiling slightly and doesn’t even look nervous, and this makes Frank feel more confident as he leans in, closing the gap between their faces…

Their lips touch and it’s like fireworks going off in Frank’s head. Mikey’s lips are soft and sweet, and they’re moving ever so slowly against his own—almost teasingly slowly. Frank reaches up and places his hands on either side of Mikey’s face just before slipping his tongue into Mikey’s mouth and getting lost in his sweet taste. He lets his tongue grace the tips of Mikey’s teeth, and he smiles when he feels the prominently pointed edges of Mikey’s incisor teeth. He lets out a quiet moan when he feels Mikey’s tongue playing with his lip ring and then pulls away, letting his hands fall from Mikey’s face. Frank isn’t sure how far Mikey wants to take this…

“That’s it?” Mikey asks, raising an eyebrow and smirking slightly as he licks his lips.

Frank chuckles. “Oh, you want more?” he asks.

Mikey doesn’t reply—he just leans in and attaches his lips to Frank’s once again, kissing him harder this time. Frank doesn’t resist. In fact, he shuffles even closer to Mikey until he’s straddling Mikey’s legs between his knees, and drapes his arms over Mikey’s shoulders, pulling him in close.

“Naughty…” Mikey chuckles against Frank’s lips.

Frank smiles as he kisses Mikey, and is pleasantly surprised when he feels Mikey’s hands start rubbing up and down his sides. Frank feels that familiar constriction taking place in the front of his jeans and, without thinking, he grinds his crotch down against Mikey’s, causing Mikey to let out a moan from the pleasurable friction. Mikey kisses Frank harder and moves his hands down to Frank’s ass, caressing its perfect shape and squeezing it gently.

“Yeah, Mikey…touch me,” Frank whispers feverishly against Mikey’s lips, enjoying the feel of Mikey’s wandering hands.

Mikey continues to grope Frank’s ass and Frank, becoming increasingly turned on, grinds his hips down once again, rubbing his crotch against Mikey’s.

“Oh shit…” Mikey moans, pulling his lips away from Frank. Mikey looks into Frank’s eyes and Frank can tell that Mikey is super turned on: Mikey’s giving Frank this intense, lustful look, and it’s making Frank even hornier.

“Too much?” Frank asks, gently playing with the hair at the nape of Mikey’s neck.

“No, not at all,” Mikey smiles. When Mikey smiles, Frank notices Mikey’s pointed incisor teeth and he can’t help but grin at the sight.

“You’ve got vampire teeth,” Frank chuckles.

Mikey rolls his eyes and laughs. “Everyone says that, just ‘cause these teeth are kinda pointy,” Mikey says, taking his hands off of Frank’s ass for a moment to point to his incisors.

“Well, I like them,” Frank smiles. He gives Mikey a soft kiss on the lips and then pulls away, moving his lips down to lightly kiss Mikey’s neck on the spot just below his ear.

“That feels really nice,” Mikey whispers, slowly rubbing his hands up and down Frank’s back.

Frank moves his hands down between their bodies and finds the top edge of Mikey’s jeans. He undoes the button and pulls the zipper down, kissing Mikey’s neck the whole time. Frank hears Mikey take in a sharp breath when Frank slides his hand down into the front of Mikey’s underwear and wraps his fingers around Mikey’s hard cock.

Frank brings his lips up to Mikey’s ear. “Is this okay?” he whispers as he begins to slowly rub Mikey’s erection.

“Fuck yeah it’s okay,” Mikey says breathily, letting out a quiet moan when Frank rolls a finger over his sensitive cockhead.

Frank gets so turned on when he hears Mikey moan like that—he wants to hear more of it. “Can I give you a blowjob, Mikey?” Frank whispers into Mikey’s ear before licking his earlobe sensually.

“Oh God, yeah Frankie…do it,” Mikey begs lustfully.

Frank smiles and gently pushes Mikey down onto his back to lie on the carpet. Frank tugs Mikey’s jeans and underwear down to his mid-thighs, exposing Mikey’s stiff cock, which stands straight up in the air, practically inviting Frank’s lips over to it. Frank can’t take his eyes off of it.

“Wow…you’re honestly perfect, Mikey,” Frank says, lying down next to Mikey on the carpet. He gently kisses Mikey’s smiling lips before scooting his body down so that his head is in line with Mikey’s hips, and then leans over until his mouth is only inches away from the head of Mikey’s erection.

Frank presses his tongue hard against the tip of Mikey’s cock and tastes the warm pre-cum as it leaks out.

“Holy shit that feels good…” Mikey moans, squeezing his eyes shut. He leans up on his elbows, watching as Frank’s warm, wet tongue teasingly swirls around the tip of his dick.

Frank closes his lips around the tip of Mikey’s cock and sucks on it for a while before taking the whole length into his mouth until the head hits the back of his throat. He hollows his cheeks as he bobs his head up and down, sliding his lips along the shaft of Mikey’s dick as Mikey moans loudly.

“Mmm, Frankie…you’re so fucking good at that…” Mikey breathes out.

Frank moans quietly around Mikey’s cock when he feels Mikey’s fingers start raking through his hair and pulling it lightly. He loves it when Mikey touches him.

Frank is enjoying the fact that he’s causing Mikey to moan uncontrollably, but Frank knows the fun is coming to an end when Mikey suddenly gasps and grabs Frank’s hair tighter as he continues to pleasure Mikey’s dick.

“I’m gonna come…” Mikey says breathily.

Frank sucks Mikey harder until he feels Mikey’s body go rigid, and he soon tastes Mikey’s warm, slightly salty cum fill his mouth. Frank swallows every drop while Mikey moans at full volume. Frank is sure that whoever lives next door is probably able to hear Mikey clearly.

Frank lets Mikey’s cock fall from his mouth and then scoots his body up so that he and Mikey are lying face-to-face. Mikey is panting and he has the most adorable grin on his face which makes Frank smile.

“That was seriously amazing, Frank,” Mikey says, pulling up his jeans and underwear. “First blowjob I’ve gotten in like, two years,” Mikey chuckles.

“Shit…” Frank laughs. “You definitely needed that then,” he says, watching as Mikey buttons and zips up his jeans.

“I can return the favour if you like…” Mikey offers.

“How do I know you won’t bite my dick off with those vampire teeth?” Frank smirks teasingly.

“Fuck you!” Mikey laughs, playfully hitting Frank on the arm.

“No, seriously…” Frank grins, leaning up on one elbow, “you’re gonna have to file those badboys down before I let you anywhere near that area,” he says.

Mikey chuckles and leans over to kiss Frank’s neck. “You’re a horrible person. You better stop before I actually bite you,” Mikey says, gazing his teeth against the delicate skin of Frank’s neck.

“You wouldn’t…” Frank whispers, almost challengingly. He closes his eyes, enjoying the feeling of Mikey’s lips against his neck.

Frank is still amazed by the fact that twenty minutes ago, he and Mikey were just friends, and now suddenly they’re…well, Frank doesn’t even know what they are now. He’s just happy at the fact that he feels so much closer to Mikey now that they’ve gotten intimate.

Mikey stops kissing Frank’s neck for a moment and looks at him. “But, in all seriousness: Do you want me to return the favour?” Mikey asks.

“Maybe that can be my reward after I get some studying done…” Frank says, smiling suggestively.

“Deal,” Mikey smiles back.

Mikey and Frank both sit up and go back to where they were sitting before their spontaneous sexual outburst. Frank continues reading through Mikey’s art history notes, and Mikey continues reading his textbook, and they are both silent. However, every so often they give each other these knowing looks—looks that say, “I wanna make out with you right _now_.”

Frank can’t help but smile to himself. He’s pleased with the direction his friendship with Mikey is taking. Frank just hopes Gerard will keep his promise to keep his mouth shut about their scandalous history, because all he really wants is for his friendship with Mikey to one day evolve into something more…perhaps a real relationship instead of this ‘friends with benefits’ thing they’ve started. Frank would definitely love to be able to call Mikey his boyfriend in the future. The last thing Frank needs is for Gerard to ruin everything he has been building with Mikey…  



	8. Chapter 8

Gerard hums quietly to himself as he restocks CDs on the shelves at Barnes and Noble. It’s 3:30 and there’s only half an hour until his eight-hour shift is over. Gerard can’t wait to get off—it’s Friday night and he hasn’t been clubbing in one whole week. His plan to cut back on the partying has been working, but he’s starting to get restless. There are only so many days he can go without having sex… He has no idea how Mikey could last over two years without it.

“Hey, Gerard,” Brian—Gerard’s manager—calls out from behind the cash register. “It’s pretty slow right now. I’ll let you off early,” he says.

“Thanks, man,” Gerard says. He gladly packs up the extra CDs on the stocking cart he's rolling around and puts them back into the backroom to finish distributing tomorrow. He then he goes back out into the front of the store where Brian is looking bored at the cash register.

“Hey, how’s Mikey these days?” Brian asks casually.

“Oh, he’s fine. He’s been pretty busy with school. I guess that’s why he hasn’t come to visit,” Gerard says.

Mikey and Brian had been good friends in high school, and when Brian became the manager at Barnes & Noble, he quickly offered Mikey a job since they were such good friends. But after Mikey and Alicia had broken up, Mikey had sort of shut himself off from everyone and became kind of an introvert, hence the reason Brian—Mikey’s former close friend—has to be asking _Gerard_ about Mikey.

“Oh, okay. Tell him I said hey,” Brian says.

“Sure thing,” Gerard says. “See you tomorrow,” he adds before heading out the door.

When Gerard gets into his silver Camaro, he rolls down the window and lights a cigarette before speeding off down the Jersey streets with the cold, late-October air blowing through his hair. The crisp air wakes him up after his draining eight hour shift of selling crappy music to teenagers at Barnes and Noble. Now all he needs is a nice, strong cup of coffee when he gets home to really re-energize himself.

Soon, Gerard gets to his building, parks the car, and makes his way inside, up the elevator until he gets to unit 620. When Gerard opens the door, he’s puzzled when he sees Mikey’s checkered Vans sitting on the welcome mat next to a pair of worn-out black Chucks (which he assumes are Frank’s). Gerard quietly shuts the door behind him and slips off his own shoes just before he notices something… There’s this low, groaning noise coming from behind Mikey’s closed bedroom door, and it’s getting louder by the second.

Curiously, Gerard walks silently over to Mikey’s door and presses his ear against the cold, hard wood. He is shocked by what he hears.

“Mmm, yeah Mikey…spit on it…yeah, just like that, babe…are you gonna swallow?”

It’s definitely Frank’s voice that Gerard hears, and Mikey is definitely giving Frank head.

Gerard feels the anger begin to rise inside of him. He’s angry because he knows Frank is just using Mikey. Mikey doesn’t know the real Frank Iero—the one who’s keeping his past a secret just so he can keep Mikey close to him. In that moment, Gerard doesn’t even care about the promise of secrecy he’d made to Frank; this is his brother’s heart they’re dealing with. Gerard doesn’t want Mikey to get hurt. Deep down, Gerard knows that telling the truth and risking having Mikey lose the only friend he’s made at college is better than leaving him in the dark about this secret.

Gerard takes a breath and knocks loudly on Mikey’s door. Frank’s moaning immediately ceases.

“Gerard?” Mikey says from inside.

“Come here, I need to talk to you,” Gerard says brusquely.

“Yeah, just one second…”

Gerard hears some shuffling and muffled talking from inside and a minute later, Mikey opens the door. Mikey’s face is flushed and his hair is tousled—most likely from Frank grabbing at it.

“You’re home early,” Mikey states with a hint of nervousness in his voice.

“So are you. Are you with Frank?”

“Yeah,” Mikey replies. He licks his lips and blinks his eyes nervously.

“What’re you guys doing? I thought you had class…” Gerard questions, playing dumb to the fact that he knows exactly what Mikey has been doing with Frank in his bedroom.

“Our class starts at 6:30. We’re just hanging out before we go,” Mikey explains, adjusting his glasses with one hand.

“Hanging out doing what?” Gerard presses on. He can tell that Mikey’s getting more and more uncomfortable by the way he’s shifting his weight back and forth between his feet as he stands there.

Gerard shakes his head when Mikey doesn't reply. “Wow. You can’t even say it. But it’s okay: The cock smell on your breath gives it away,” Gerard smirks before turning around and walking down the hallway and into his bedroom. He isn’t surprised when he hears Mikey follow him into his bedroom.

“So you heard?” Mikey asks, coming into the room and sitting down on the edge of Gerard’s bed.

Gerard takes off his leather jacket and hangs it up on the hook behind his door. “Obviously,” he says, rolling his eyes. “How long have you guys been doing _that_?” he asks.

“This is only the second time since Sunday. I was gonna tell you, I swear…” Mikey says. His face is red and he’s looking down at the floor.

“I’m not mad at you or anything…I’m just kinda worried. I’ve tried the whole ‘friends with benefits’ thing and it’s really not worth it. It’s just gonna fuck everything up in the end,” Gerard says. “Plus, I don’t think Frank is good for you. I just get a bad vibe from that kid…” he adds.

“You always say he’s a bad person, but you don’t even know him. He’s a really great guy, Gerard. And I don’t have feelings for him or anything…we’re just both really horny I guess,” Mikey shrugs.

“Mikey, Mikey, Mikey….” Gerard sighs, sitting down next to his brother on the edge of the bed. “One of you is eventually gonna fall for the other—it happens almost every time. Then things will get weird and you’ll slowly drift apart. Do you really want that to happen?” Gerard says. He’s trying as hard as he can to sway Mikey away from Frank.

“Ugh, you’re so cynical!” Mikey says, frustrated. “Just ‘cause you’ve fucked up every single relationship you’ve ever had, doesn’t mean I’m going to do the same! You dated a fucking drug dealer, Gerard! Who are you to judge me for who I hang out with and what I do?” Mikey yells. His face is red with anger and he’s staring at Gerard intensely.

Gerard glares at Mikey, shocked at the harsh words that have just come out of his mouth. “Fuck you,” Gerard snaps. He gets up and grabs his leather jacket off the hook on his door. “Oh, and just so you know: Frank and I h—”

“What’re we talking about?” Frank’s voice sounds suddenly, cutting Gerard off. Frank’s standing in the doorway, glaring at Gerard.

“You and Frank what?” Mikey asks. His face is contorted into an expression of confusion and he’s looking at Gerard expectantly.

Gerard looks at Frank’s glaring face, and then back at Mikey’s confused, innocent face. To tell, or not to tell…?

“Hate each other. We hate each other,” Gerard says. He gives Frank one last dirty look before pushing past him and storming out of the apartment.

Gerard is so angry with himself for backing out. He had been so close to telling Mikey but he just couldn’t do it, as much as he would have loved to see the look on Frank’s face when he did. He just loves Mikey too much to tell him so bluntly, even though Mikey had just harshly insulted him...

Gerard knows it’s true that he hasn’t had much success in the boyfriend department over the years, but the fact that Mikey has just called Gerard’s ex-boyfriend a “fucking drug dealer” is the part that has angered him the most. Sure, Jared had gotten in with the wrong crowd and had done some dealing, but other than that, he had been so good to Gerard. Jared is the only guy Gerard has ever been in love with. But when Jared got arrested for drug possession a few years earlier, Gerard just couldn’t deal with it—he couldn’t promise he’d wait two-and-a-half years for Jared to get out. So their 13-month relationship ended, and that’s when Gerard began to waste his life away. He dropped out of art school, started drinking heavily, started fucking strangers, and inevitably became depressed—the whole works.

Reliving these memories makes Gerard feel so empty and low. He needs booze. Right fucking now. He needs to drink until all the pain and memories are erased, if only for one night. He needs to drink until he feels numb. Gerard heads out of the apartment building and gets into his car, proceeding to drive into the city until he gets to his favourite bar.

*

“I can’t believe he heard us…” Mikey groans, leaning his head back against the passenger seat as Frank drives them to Rutgers for their art history lecture.

Frank shrugs, keeping his eyes focused on the road. “It could have been worse. He could have walked in on us,” he says as he slows to a stop at a red light. In his peripheral vision, Frank sees Mikey staring at him, so he turns his head to stare back. “What?” he asks.

“You don’t seem bothered by this at all,” Mikey says with a curious expression on his face.

Frank chuckles and tries not to think about the fact that it wasn’t the first time Gerard had heard him moan like that. “Well he’s not _my_ brother, Mikey. Obviously it’s gonna bother you more than it bothers me,” Frank states matter-of-factly.

Mikey rolls his eyes. “You could at least try to make me feel better by pretending it bothers you too…” he says.

Mikey is slightly pouting his lips and Frank finds this to be pretty much the most adorable thing in the world. “Well what do you want me to say?” Frank asks. “Do you want me to say that I’m so fucking embarrassed that your brother heard me moaning like a bitch while you sucked me off?” he smirks.

Frank amusedly watches the corners of Mikey’s mouth twitch as he tries—unsuccessfully—to hold back a smile.

“That’s exactly what I want you to say,” Mikey says, smiling and biting his bottom lip.

Frank laughs and continues driving when the light turns green. “Hey, why did Gerard storm out like that earlier?” he asks. "It was weird..."

“I said something I shouldn’t have said…I wasn’t thinking,” Mikey says vaguely. “By the way…why did Gerard say that you guys hate each other? You’ve barely said two words to each other since you met,” Mikey says.

Frank’s guilty conscience flares up in that instant, and he just shrugs again, continuing to stare out at the road. “I really don’t know. But he’s made it pretty clear that he doesn’t like me…and to be honest, I don’t really care for him either,” Frank says.

“Yeah, but I don’t understand _why_ ,” Mikey says, obviously frustrated. “I probably shouldn’t be telling you this, but Gerard gives me so much shit for hanging out with you. It’s really weird. Like, he thinks you’re ‘bad’ for me or something…” Mikey admits.

Frank’s brow furrows and he tightens his grip on the steering wheel. He wants to kick Gerard’s ass for trying to convince Mikey not to hang out with him. Although Gerard may be Mikey’s older brother, he has absolutely no right to tell Mikey who he can and cannot hang out with. It’s completely selfish for Gerard to try and break up Frank’s friendship with Mikey just so that he can eliminate the guilt of having slept with his brother’s friend. Frank could literally punch Gerard in the face right now.

“God, that pisses me off… I don’t know what his fucking problem is,” Frank says. His jaw is tense as he tries to keep his voice even and not let the extent of his anger show.

“I know. He gets really protective of me sometimes, and although I love him for it, it gets a bit much when it comes to relationships and stuff. I’m an adult for God’s sake,” Mikey says.

“Does he think we’re in a relationship or something?” Frank asks, curious to see how Mikey will respond to the idea.

“No, he knows we’re just ‘friends with benefits’, or whatever you wanna call it,” Mikey says casually.

“Oh,” Frank says simply, feeling slightly disappointed that Mikey had said ‘friends with benefits’ so quickly and without any hesitation.

But Frank has to be honest with himself—he can’t just expect Mikey to fall for him after a couple of exchanged blowjobs...Mikey isn’t that kind of guy. Frank can tell that Mikey’s a romantic; he’s the kind of guy who would appreciate candles, roses, red wine, kisses on the forehead…all that sweet, fluffy stuff. But Frank is totally not that kind of guy. It’s not that all Frank wants is sex (although he does have quite an active sex-drive); it’s just that he has a different idea of romance. Frank’s idea of a perfect date would include taking Mikey to a local show, going out to eat at some exotic restaurant, and then going back to his place to watch a horror movie and then give Mikey the best sex of his life. It’s sort of Frank’s favourite thing to fantasize about.

Frank and Mikey don’t say much to each other for the remainder of the short drive, but when Frank pulls up into the parking lot of the university, Mikey speaks again.

“Are you upset?” Mikey asks.

Frank takes the keys out of the ignition and gives Mikey a confused look. “What would I be upset about?” he asks.

“Well, you seemed kind of upset when I told you about Gerard not wanting me to hang out with you,” Mikey says, taking off his seatbelt.

Frank smiles and leans in close to Mikey until their lips brush against each other. “I’m not even thinking about that anymore,” Frank whispers against Mikey’s lips.

Mikey closes the gap between them, pressing their lips together, and Frank gladly begins sucking on Mikey’s bottom lip, tasting the sweetness of his mouth.

Mikey pulls away after a short while, leaving Frank breathless and wanting more. “We’re gonna be late,” Mikey smiles, adjusting his glasses before putting his messenger bag over his shoulder.

“So…?” Frank smirks playfully, placing his hand on Mikey’s upper thigh while looking into his eyes.

Mikey laughs. “Come on, let’s go,” he says as he opens the door. “Maybe after class we can go to your place…” he suggests before getting out of the car.

Frank gets out on his side and then locks the door. “We can definitely do that,” he grins.

Frank and Mikey walk from the parking lot into the university, and make their way to their art history lecture. They make it inside just in time for the lecture to begin, and luckily their two seats at the very back are still vacant. They both sit down and take out their notebooks, settling down to listen to the professor speak for the next two hours.

After only twenty minutes of sitting in the lecture theatre, Mikey’s phone starts vibrating. Frank, along with a few other students, look over at Mikey as he embarrassedly fishes his phone out of the pocket of his jeans before looking at the caller ID. Mikey looks annoyed when he sees who’s calling, but he answers anyway.

“Gerard, I’m in class right now. What do you want?” Mikey says in a low voice, trying not to disturb anyone who’s trying to listen to the lecture.

Frank, who’s sitting right next to Mikey, can hear Gerard speaking on the other end of the phone call, and doesn’t mind listening in on their conversation.

“Come pick me up, motherfucker,” Gerard slurs. “They’re kicking me out of the bar…too fucking drunk… But it’s a goddamn bar…I’m supposed to be drunk…” he rambles on.

Frank glances at Mikey and he can tell that Mikey’s already pissed off at Gerard.

“Take a taxi home,” Mikey tells Gerard curtly.

“You think I’m leaving my car in front of a bar in the middle of Jersey overnight?” Gerard laughs on the other end. “You sir, are fucking funny,” he says.

Mikey sighs. “Which bar are you at?” he asks.

“I’m at Switch. Are you picking me up?” Gerard asks, continuing to slur his words.

“Yeah I’m picking you up. You’re not really giving me a fucking choice here…” Mikey says, earning a few dirty looks from students sitting around him.

“See you soon, baby bro,” Gerard says.

Mikey ends the call without saying another word and then puts his phone back in his pocket and takes a deep breath, evidently trying to calm down. “I have to go pick up Gerard; he’s drunk at a bar downtown,” Mikey says.

“Yeah…I heard the conversation,” Frank admits giving Mikey an apologetic look.

“Do you mind taking notes for me?” Mikey asks.

“You know my notes are really shitty, Mikey… I can go pick up Gerard for you, if you want,” Frank offers. As much as Frank does not want to be alone in a car with a drunk Gerard, he feels bad that Mikey will have to miss the lecture, because out of the two of them, Mikey’s the one who actually wants to pay attention during class.

“Frank, that’s so much to ask of you. And you and Gerard don’t even get along…” Mikey says, shaking his head.

“Hey, it’s fine. You’ll benefit way more from this lecture than I will, anyway,” Frank assures him with a smile.

Mikey smiles back. “You’re kind of amazing,” he says sincerely, his warm, hazel eyes making Frank’s insides melt.

“Here, I’ll give you my keys. You can just meet me at my place after class if I don’t think I’ll make it back in time. I’m not sure how long I’ll have to wait for the bus…” Frank says, handing his car keys to Mikey.

“Thank you so much for doing this, Frank,” Mikey smiles. “Here’s Gerard’s number in case you need to call him when you get there…” Mikey says. Frank adds Gerard’s number to his contact list on his phone and then says bye to Mikey before leaving the lecture hall.

Frank is glad that he made Mikey so happy by doing this for him, but at the same time he’s kind of freaking out about seeing Gerard. Frank doesn’t usually get nervous around people, but Gerard is the only exception; he has this sexy yet intimidating aura about him that always makes Frank’s heart pound hard in his chest. Frank just hopes this goes well…

*

Gerard feels like such a pathetic loser. Here he is, sitting down on the curb outside of the bar with a cigarette in his mouth, already drunk at seven o’ clock, waiting for his younger brother to come pick him up. And, on top of that, he’d gotten kicked out of the bar before he could even get close to the amount of alcohol he wants to drink tonight. He needs to kill the pain, and so far he’s only masked it.

Gerard listens to the muted sound of the pulsing beat coming out of the bar behind him while he takes drag after drag of his cigarette. He’s starting to get chilly and restless in the evening October air, waiting for Mikey to arrive. Gerard is slightly startled when his phone starts ringing. He takes it out of his pocket and sees an unfamiliar number on the caller ID, but he answers nonetheless.

“Hello?” Gerard says.

“I’m picking you up. Where exactly are you?” a male voice speaks on the other end.

“Who the fuck is this?” Gerard questions, his voice slightly muffled by the cigarette between his lips. He knows the voice on the other end sounds familiar, but in his intoxicated state he can’t place exactly whose it is.

“Oh, you don’t recognize my voice? You even heard it today when I was saying all those dirty things to your brother…”

Gerard’s jaw clenches almost immediately when he realizes he’s speaking to Frank. “I asked _Mikey_ to pick me up,” he says bitterly.

“Mikey’s in class,” Frank says. “Hey, I think I see you…” he says, and then hangs up without warning.

Gerard is beyond pissed. Frank is the last person he wants to see right now. All Gerard wants is to go home with his brother and drink his depression away until he passes out in his room. That’s all. He has no patience for dealing with Frank’s bullshit right now.

A few minutes later, Gerard hears someone walk up next to him. He looks down and to his left, sees a pair of Converse-clad feet standing next to him, and then he slowly lifts his head up until he sees that it’s Frank. Frank’s dressed in all black: he's wearing black skinny jeans and a black hoodie with the hood up over his black hair.

“Let’s go,” Frank says abruptly, crossing his arms across his chest impatiently.

Gerard takes one last drag on his cigarette before tossing it aside and standing up, nearly falling over as he does. “So demanding…” Gerard smirks, slightly swaying on the spot as he looks at Frank.

“Show me where you’re parked,” Frank says, chewing on his silver lip ring. Gerard doesn’t know whether Frank is nervous or annoyed (or both), but either way he thinks the way Frank is toying with his piercing is kind of sexy.

Gerard takes one last look at Frank before turning and walking down the street, drunkenly leading the way to where he’d parked his car earlier. Leaning against the passenger side of his silver car, Gerard takes his keys out of his pocket and tosses them at Frank, who reacts quickly and jerks his arms out in front of him just in time to catch the jingling keys in his hands.

“Nice catch,” Gerard says smugly.

Frank ignores Gerard and remains silent as he walks around to the driver’s side and unlocks the door, looking all badass and sexy with his hood up and an irritated expression on his face. Gerard can’t help but smile to himself, because as much as he wishes it were Mikey who was driving him home, Gerard has to admit that Frank is definitely nice to look at. He is one hot motherfucker.

Gerard and Frank both get into the car and Gerard sighs and leans his head against the window while Frank starts up the engine.

“If you knew you were gonna be drinking tonight, why’d you take your fucking car?” Frank asks as he pulls away from the curb.

“Wasn’t thinking,” Gerard replies simply, reveling in his pleasant drunken state while he stares out the window at the New Jersey lights. He’s feeling somewhat dizzy and lightheaded and all the lights are flowing slowly through his visual field, all loopy and dreamlike. In this moment, he feels fine—relaxed, almost. But then the reminders of all his failures and losses and vices creep into the edges of his mind and he feels the all-too-familiar pain deep in his core: The pain of being a twenty-something proverbial fuck-up who can’t even maintain a real relationship or get a job in a field other than fucking dead-end retail.

From the corner of his eye, Gerard sees Frank look over at him for a moment before turning his attention back to the road.

“You were gonna tell Mikey earlier, weren’t you?” Frank questions.

“Tell him what? That I fucked you?” Gerard slurs, turning his head to look at Frank.

“Yeah. What else would I be talking about?” Frank says impatiently.

“Yeah, I was gonna tell him,” Gerard admits, watching as Frank’s expression darkens.

“You’re such an asshole, Gerard,” Frank says, shaking his head. “You told me you wouldn’t say anything to him.”

“I tell people a lot of things...” Gerard chuckles. “You were just dumb enough to trust me.”

They stop at a red light and Frank curses under his breath as he lightly drums his fingers against the steering wheel.

Gerard giggles drunkenly. “You’re so sexy when you’re angry, Frankie…” he says teasingly. Gerard loves pushing Frank’s buttons just to get a reaction out of him.

“Why the fuck would you even tell Mikey?” Frank snaps suddenly, ignoring Gerard’s remark and turning to look at him.

Frank is glowering and for some reason, the intensity of his anger turns Gerard on. _It must be the alcohol_ , Gerard thinks.

“I mean, seriously. If you tell him, you know damn well that it won’t just be _me_ he’ll be pissed at; he’ll be pissed at you too,” Frank continues.

Gerard is suddenly livid. “Well, you’re fucking using him, Frank!” he yells. “It’s not fair to him, not knowing. Especially since you two are sucking each other off now. Do you think he’d wanna suck your dick knowing that his brother has done the same? No. Of course he wouldn’t. But you’re just a selfish little bitch and you don’t care enough about him to tell him the truth,” Gerard finishes.

After his little rant, Gerard is fuming; his jaw is clenched, his eyes are narrowed, and he’s staring aimlessly out the window. Frank starts driving again when the light turns green, and they sit in thick, uncomfortable silence.

After a few minutes, Gerard takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. “Are you even gonna say anything?” he questions.

“I don’t wanna argue with you,” Frank says evenly, keeping his eyes focused on the road.

“You just know I’m right,” Gerard says, feeling somewhat triumphant.

They don’t speak to each other for the rest of the drive, and a short while later, Frank pulls up in front of Gerard’s apartment building and they both get out of the car and step out into the cold evening air.

“Here,” Frank says, tossing Gerard’s keys back to him. “Think you can make it up there on your own?” Frank asks.

“No. Wanna give me a hand?” Gerard asks, steadying himself by holding on to the side of the car.

Frank sighs and goes over to Gerard, putting his arm around Gerard’s waist and assisting the intoxicated man as they make their way inside the building.

“We haven’t been this close to each other since the night we met…” Gerard comments once they’re enclosed in the elevator. And it’s true: the sides of their bodies are pressed together and Frank has his arm firmly around Gerard’s waist, while Gerard’s arm is draped over Frank’s shoulder to keep his balance.

Frank sighs. “Yeah, what’s your point?” he asks impatiently.

“Just pointing it out,” Gerard shrugs. “Do you remember that night?” he asks.

“Parts of it. I was drunk,” Frank replies abruptly, obviously uninterested in discussing the topic.

Gerard chuckles and gives Frank a sideways glance. “Yeah, you were really drunk. You were so cute though,” he says. “I remember you just came up to me and started dancing with me, rubbing your ass against my crotch and everything…” Gerard reminisces, his voice trailing off into a murmur.

“Hey, hey… _You_ were the one who approached _me_ that night. Get your fucking facts straight, mister,” Frank says.

“Are you kidding me?” Gerard laughs drunkenly. “Wow, you must have been drunker than I thought you were if you don’t remember approaching me. I’m pretty sure you were trying to make me cum…you were grinding on me so hard,” he says with a smirk.

Frank swallows audibly and Gerard notices that Frank is playing with his lip ring again; he’s nervous. Gerard smiles at this realization, but in his mind he curses the alcohol for making him feel so intensely attracted to Frank.

“I was definitely _not_ trying to make you cum,” Frank says just as the elevator opens to the sixth floor.

Gerard laughs and Frank practically drags him out of the elevator before the door closes, keeping Gerard steady with his arms still wrapped firmly around the taller man’s waist until they get to unit 620.

Gerard unlocks the door and then stumbles over the threshold with Frank right behind him.

“Anyway, I’m going back to class now,” Frank says. He’s standing in the doorway checking the time on his phone.

“Oh, have fun with that…” Gerard says, kicking his shoes off while keeping his eyes on Frank. “Thanks for the ride,” he adds.

“Yeah, no problem,” Frank says before turning to leave.

“Hey, wait,” Gerard says suddenly, reaching his arm out and grabbing Frank’s hand. Frank turns around to face Gerard once again, and glances down unsurely at their hands, which are now locked together. “You don’t have to leave so soon, you know…” Gerard says softly. He reaches up with his free hand pulls the hood off Frank’s head, exposing his slightly tousled black hair.

“I—I can’t stay…I have to meet Mikey,” Frank says as he nervously looks into Gerard’s eyes.

“Frankie, it’s only seven o' clock…your class ends at eight-thirty. Just meet Mikey afterwards,” Gerard says persuasively, tugging Frank’s hand lightly. The alcohol is coursing through Gerard’s veins and he’s as horny as ever.

They stand there for a moment, just staring at each other, and Gerard slowly pulls Frank closer to him. Frank looks nervous, but at the same time there’s this hint of adventure in his eyes…Gerard has a feeling that Frank won’t be able to resist him much longer.

“Shut the door,” Gerard whispers, keeping his eyes locked onto Frank’s. Frank reaches back and pushes the door shut, biting his lip ring subconsciously. “You’re horny too, aren’t you?” Gerard smirks, edging even closer to Frank.

“Yeah,” Frank admits with a coy smile.

“I can tell…” Gerard chuckles. Gerard hungrily leans in and presses his lips against Frank’s, kissing and sucking them urgently. He places one hand on the back of Frank’s head, and deepens the kiss, enjoying the feeling of the cool metal of Frank’s lip ring against his tongue. After tasting Frank’s sweet mouth for a minute or so, Gerard pulls away, panting from arousal. He’s already beginning to get hard.

Wanting more, Frank crashes his lips onto Gerard’s once again, and Gerard pushes his tongue between Frank’s lips, tasting even more of him. Gerard is surprised when he feels Frank’s fingers undoing the button and zipper of his jeans.

“You want my cock, baby?” Gerard whispers teasingly against Frank’s lips. “You wanna taste it?”

“Yeah,” Frank says breathily, kissing Gerard again while pushing down Gerard’s pants and underwear.

Gerard playfully pulls his lips away from Frank’s again. “Tell me you want it,” he says in a low voice.

“I wanna taste your cock,” Frank says in a sexy whisper. He's looking at Gerard with his eyes full of intense lust.

Gerard closes his eyes and lets out a sharp gasp when he feels Frank’s fingers wrap around his stiffening cock and begin rubbing it slowly, causing it to get even harder.

“Mmm, get down there, Frankie…” Gerard moans softly.

Frank kisses Gerard again and then gets down on his knees, with Gerard’s cock pointing straight at him. Frank looks up at Gerard and takes Gerard’s cock into his mouth eagerly, lapping up all the clear pre-cum from the head before sucking the whole thing. Gerard moans loudly from the intense feeling of Frank’s hot mouth on his cock, and holds Frank’s head steady between his hands before beginning to fuck his mouth. Frank chokes a little when Gerard’s cock hits the back of his throat the first time, but Gerard keeps going and eventually Frank’s throat opens up a little, allowing Gerard to get his entire eight inches into Frank’s mouth easily.

“Ohh, yeah, that’s it. Just keep going like that,” Gerard pants as he continues to thrust his cock down Frank’s willing throat.

Frank starts moaning as he deep-throats Gerard’s cock, and Gerard loves the vibrating feeling it causes. Gerard looks down and meets Frank’s eyes. He can tell that Frank is loving this; Frank is looking up at Gerard with lustful eyes that scream, “ _Use me_.”

“You like when I fuck your mouth, babe?” Gerard asks teasingly.

“Mmm…mmhmm…” Frank moans with his lips still tight around Gerard’s cock.

“Fuck…I’m gonna come soon,” Gerard groans, pulling his cock out of Frank’s mouth and beginning to jerk himself off with one hand.

Frank doesn’t need to be told to open his mouth and wait for Gerard’s cum.

“Mmm, come right in my mouth, Gee…” Frank begs, looking up as Gerard furiously jerks his cock back and forth.

Gerard feels his orgasm approaching fast, and he grabs a handful of Frank’s hair, pushing Frank’s mouth closer to his cock.

“Fuck…here it comes…” Gerard pants heavily.

Gerard looks down and watches as ropes and ropes of his warm, white cum enter Frank’s waiting mouth. He squeezes out every drop onto Frank’s tongue and then Frank licks Gerard’s sticky head clean, looking up at him the whole time. Gerard’s cockhead is getting sensitive so he pulls it out of Frank’s mouth and watches Frank lick his lips.

“Wow, you didn’t spill a drop,” Gerard muses, looking down at Frank and stroking his hair.

Frank smiles and stands up, “Well, you taste good,” he smirks. He leans in and kisses Gerard softly for a moment before pulling away. “I should go meet Mikey now,” Frank says.

“Yeah, you probably should,” Gerard says, pulling up his pants and underwear. “Thanks for the blowjob,” he smirks.

“You won’t say anything to Mikey, will you?” Frank asks. He has a somewhat worried expression on his face.

Gerard shakes his head. “I won’t.”

“Okay, well…good night,” Frank says before opening the front door and leaving.

Gerard sighs heavily and leans back against the wall. His head is still spinning and he can’t believe what he has just done: Mikey’s friend has just given him a blowjob. _What kind of guy hooks up with his brother's friend?_ Gerard thinks to himself. He stumbles into his bedroom and then undresses before lying down on his bed. Gerard knows he could have had any other guy that night, but he just could not resist Frank… Frank is sexy, confident, and definitely easy. Gerard wishes he could just go back to hating Frank for using Mikey, but just as he’s about to pass out he finds himself fantasizing about things he shouldn’t be fantasizing about. Things like bending Frank over and fucking him hard in the shower…

Yeah, it's gonna be pretty hard for him to go back to hating Frank.


	9. Chapter 9

Frank wakes up to the annoying buzzing sound of his phone vibrating on his bedside table. He groans tiredly into his pillow and forces himself to open his eyes and look at the clock. It’s eight o’ clock in the morning and Frank feels even more annoyed knowing that someone has dared to call him at this ungodly hour on a Saturday morning. Frank curses under his breath and grabs his phone, answering it and putting it to his ear without even checking the caller ID.

“This better be important,” Frank says impatiently into the receiver. His voice comes out all hoarse from sleep but he could care less at the moment.

“Hey, it’s Gerard,” says the voice on the other end.

Frank’s heart rate increases instantly—he hasn’t spoken to or seen Gerard since a week earlier when he’d given Gerard a blowjob, and honestly, he isn’t sure if he even _wants_ to see or speak to Gerard again. Frank feels so much regret about that night. He should never have offered to go pick Gerard up from that bar, and he should never have given in to Gerard’s enticing words, or the way Gerard had tugged on Frank’s hand ever so gently while never breaking their eye contact. Frank shudders just thinking about how much control Gerard evidently had over him; Frank had literally gotten onto his knees for Gerard like a fucking whore.

And Frank will never forget how he’d felt after hearing Gerard say “ _Thanks for the blowjob_.” Gerard didn’t even have enough class to hide the fact that he was just using Frank to get off; Gerard had made it perfectly clear that Frank was just the lucky guy of the night for him. But really, Frank shouldn’t be surprised. He knows from experience that Gerard isn’t the type to actually _care_ about the people he hooks up with. 

And, what’s even worse than being used by Gerard is the amount of guilt Frank feels now whenever he hooks up with Mikey… He even (ashamedly) finds himself comparing the two brothers in his mind at times, comparing the way they kiss, the way they moan, the taste of their…

“Frank, you there?” Gerard questions, snapping Frank out of his thoughts.

“Why are you calling me? Especially at eight o’ clock in the fucking morning,” Frank says irritably.

“I thought you might be up for starting the day with a little protein, you know, giving me head…?” Gerard replies.

Frank doesn’t even know how to respond to what Gerard has just said. There are a string of profanities sitting on the tip of his tongue but somehow they don’t seem like enough to express the extreme anger and resentment he feels towards Gerard right now.

“I hope you know,” Frank begins through gritted teeth, “that I actually, legitimately hate you, Gerard.”

Gerard laughs. “Frankie, relax! Do you actually have no sense of humor? It was just a joke for fuck’s sake,” he says.

“Well it was a shitty joke,” Frank mumbles, pulling at a thread on the edge of his blanket.

“Aww, are you mad at me, Frankie?” Gerard teases.

Frank rolls his eyes. “What was your first fucking clue?” he retorts swiftly.

“Alright, alright…enough with the jokes,” Gerard says. “In all seriousness Frank, I actually called to apologize to you,” he continues.

Frank is shocked to hear Gerard say the word ‘apologize’—Gerard is so arrogant that Frank didn’t know that word was actually in Gerard’s vocabulary.

“Well, go on…” Frank prompts impatiently.

“Well, what happened last Friday shouldn’t have happened… I was drunk and selfish and I shouldn’t have pressured you to stay. I’m sorry,” Gerard says, sounding (to Frank’s surprise) sincere.

“Wow…I can’t believe you just apologized to me,” Frank says. He’s so shocked that he really doesn’t know what else to say.

“I guess I’m not a _complete_ asshole,” Gerard says, and Frank can just hear the smirk in his voice.

“Well, I appreciate the apology,” Frank says.

“And Mikey told me it was your birthday yesterday, so happy belated birthday,” Gerard says.

“Thank you. And happy belated Halloween to you,” Frank returns.

“Thanks,” Gerard chuckles. “So Mikey tells me you’re having a party tonight?”

“Yeah…” Frank says awkwardly—he hadn’t invited Gerard to the party for obvious reasons, such as the fact that Frank doesn’t really consider Gerard a friend. “Well, it’s just a small get together at my place,” he explains.

“Oh, I see,” Gerard says. “Well, have fun. Get wasted for me,” he adds.

“Hah, we’ll see,” Frank says. “See you around.”

“See ya,” Gerard says before ending the call.

Frank sighs and lies down on his back, letting his head sink pleasantly into his large, soft pillow. He’s still shocked that Gerard had actually apologized to him, but Frank still can’t help but think about the fact that what happened on Friday had been partially his own fault—Frank had given into Gerard’s pressure because Frank had been horny; Frank had _wanted_ Gerard. But, oh well. Frank is just glad to have gotten off without any blame for the situation.

Now Frank has to focus on the small party he’s throwing tonight. He still needs to go out and get snacks, and plastic cups and plates, and he doesn’t even want to _think_ about the amount of cleaning up he has to do around the apartment. Frank has invited his four bandmates, his friend Jamia (who is brining one of her own friends along), and Mikey. Frank can’t get over how excited he is to introduce Mikey to all his friends, especially to Hambone. Hambone is Frank’s best friend and the bass player in their band and Frank has told Hambone every detail about his friendship with Mikey. Hambone knows that Frank has a huge crush on Mikey, and that they are friends with benefits, and Hambone also knows about Frank’s past with Gerard. Hambone is like Frank’s older brother; Frank tells him everything.

Frank closes his eyes and decides to get some more sleep before officially waking up to start his busy day of party planning duties.

*

Mikey takes yet another deep breath as he gets out of the elevator on the fourth floor of Frank’s apartment building. He walks down the hallway, all the while feeling as though his sweaty palms are dampening the envelope he’s holding in his right hand. Mikey gets to Frank’s door a minute later and just stands there for a moment, trying not to let the muffled sounds of talking, laughter and music coming from inside get him any more nervous than he already is. Mikey takes another deep breath and curses himself for not downing a couple Xanax pills before he left—his anxiety has been acting up again.

Mikey is nervous about meeting Frank’s friends, and he keeps having this reoccurring thought that keeps on feeding his anxiety: _Everyone there will already know each other and I’ll be the awkward new-guy loser. They’re all gonna hate me and think I’m weird._

“They’re just people, Mikey. Relax,” Mikey says out loud to himself. It’s exactly what Gerard would have told him and it calms him down a little, thinking about his brother.

Nearly five minutes later, Mikey finally gathers the courage to knock on the door. It’s twenty minutes past seven, and Frank had told Mikey to be there at seven o’ clock. Fashionably late, Mikey thinks.

The door opens quickly and Mikey is suddenly face-to-face with Frank, who has a warm, welcoming smile on his face.

“Hey, Mikey! Come on in,” Frank says, stepping aside to make room for Mikey to enter the apartment.

“Hey, birthday boy,” Mikey smiles as he walks inside.

Frank smiles back and shuts the door and then gives Mikey a hug. “Come on, everyone’s waiting to meet you,” Frank grins, pulling on Mikey’s hand.

Mikey gets butterflies in his stomach at the mention of Frank’s friends. “Wait, wait…I wanted to give this to you first,” Mikey says, handing Frank the white envelope that he’s been holding.

Frank smiles and takes the envelope from Mikey. Frank opens the envelope carefully and Mikey watches as Frank’s eyes light up when he takes out the two tickets that are inside.

“Mikey, you’re my favourite person ever,” Frank grins. “Tickets to see The Bouncing Souls…this is the most perfect gift! Thank you so much,” he says before giving Mikey a peck on the lips.

Mikey blushes—he’s not used to kissing Frank when they’re not doing anything sexual. “You’re welcome, I thought you might like it,” Mikey says.

“I love it. And I can’t wait to go with you,” Frank smiles, putting the tickets back into the envelope. “Now come on, everyone’s waiting,” he says excitedly.

Mikey tries to look excited as he follows Frank into the living room which has the sounds of people and music pouring out of it. When they turn the corner Mikey glances around and sees four guys and two girls sitting around talking and laughing; two are on the couch a couple are on chairs, and a couple people are on the floor around the coffee table, which is covered with two open boxes of pizza and a few empty beer cans and half-filled red cups.

“Hey guys, this is my friend Mikey,” Frank announces.

To Mikey’s relief, the room doesn’t go silent after Frank’s announcement. In fact, the room gets louder as everyone says their friendly hellos. Mikey feels himself begin to calm down as Frank goes around and introduces everyone.

“That’s Hambone, Shaun, Neil, Tim, Jamia, and Alicia,” Frank says while pointing to each person.

Mikey smiles and says hello to everyone, but when Frank gets to Alicia, Mikey panics and tries to figure out what the fuck is his ex-girlfriend doing at Frank’s party. Mikey and Alicia make awkward eye contact for a second before Alicia looks away quickly. They haven’t spoken to each other since Alicia dumped Mikey over two years ago, and Mikey had hoped he would never have to see her again after the way she broke his heart. Alicia being at Frank’s party is possibly the worst case scenario that has ever existed for Mikey. He definitely should have taken his pills before he left the house…

Frank sits down next to Hambone on the couch and Mikey sits down next to Frank, trying hard to calm himself down and not look at Alicia. For Mikey, just looking at Alicia brought back all the anger and pain that he’d felt at the end of their relationship, and Mikey could only imagine what Alicia was thinking… She was now probably wishing she hadn’t let Jamia convince her to come along.

“Mikey, do you want a beer?” Jamia asks as she gets up from her spot on the floor next to Alicia.

“I’d love one, thanks,” Mikey says. Anything to help him stuff the multitude of emotions he’s feeling right now would be greatly appreciated.

As he’s looking away, Mikey catches Alicia’s eye once again and she looks away quickly. As much as Mikey doesn’t want to notice her, he just _does_. They had dated for three-and-a-half years—from tenth grade to the second semester of Mikey’s first year of college—so it was kind of inevitable that Mikey would take notice to Alicia’s newly dyed black hair and the flowery tattoo on her left wrist.

Frank laughs. “Oh my God, I’m such a fucking horrible host…I didn’t even offer you a drink,” Frank says, putting his arm around Mikey’s shoulder.

“It’s alright, Jamia’s apparently taking over your duties,” Mikey says, smiling when he hears Jamia laugh from inside the kitchen.

“So what happened to that show you guys were supposed to play last night at VFW Hall?” Alicia asks, generalizing her question to any of the guys in the band.

“Every venue my cousin checked out was already fully booked even though he started asking around like two months ago, which is fucking ridiculous. So yeah, we were pretty choked about that,” Frank says.

“Yeah, but what can you do. I’m sure we’ll have a couple shows by the end of the year. It’s just a matter of time,” Shaun joins in from his spot next to Hambone on the couch before taking a sip of beer.

“Have you heard their demo, Mikey?” Jamia asks as she returns from the kitchen with a bottle of beer in each hand. Jamia hands one bottle to Mikey and he thanks her.

“No, I haven’t, actually…” Mikey says, glancing over at Frank. “I was kinda counting on seeing you guys live,” he adds before taking a sip of his drink.

“Are you kidding? Frank didn’t show you the demo?” Hambone pipes up, giving Frank a disapproving look.

“I honestly forgot...it just never came up in the conversation,” Frank says, giving Mikey’s shoulder a gentle squeeze, as if to say, _It never came up in the conversation ‘cause I have his dick in my mouth half the time we hang out nowadays._ The thought makes Mikey shiver slightly and wonder what Alicia would think if she knew.

“It only has one song on it anyway, but still…” Hambone says, shaking his head at Frank.

“Hambone, give the birthday boy a break, come on,” Tim laughs from the corner where he’s sitting on a chair next to Neil, fiddling with an empty red cup.

“Yeah!” Frank laughs approvingly.

“Hey Mikey,” Shaun begins, “do you work at Barnes and Noble?” he asks, leaning forward on the other end of the couch so that he can see Mikey.

“I haven’t had a shift there in a while, but yeah, I do,” Mikey nods.

“Oh okay. I thought I recognized you,” he chuckles. “I go there all the time.”

“You’ve probably seen my brother there, too; he works way more than I do,” Mikey says.

“Which one’s your brother?” Shaun asks.

“His name’s Gerard. He’s got kinda longish black hair, usually wears all black…” Mikey describes, leaving out the “fucking sexy” part.

“Dude, that’s your _brother_? You guys look nothing alike,” Shaun laughs amusedly.

Mikey chuckles. “Yeah, everyone says that. I thought I was adopted for the longest time when I was a kid,” Mikey says. When Mikey sees Alicia smile at his last comment, a strong surge of anxiety passes through him and he suddenly feels his heart rate soar through the roof because they have just _connected_. And although the connection may have been on a small level, they have still connected, nonetheless, and it’s something Mikey hasn’t felt in a long time. It’s scary and it’s nostalgic and it makes Mikey feel resentful and anxious at the same time.

As Mikey expects, Alicia looks away the second Mikey’s eyes meet hers.

As the evening progresses, the group talks and laughs and eats—but the nervous knot in Mikey’s stomach causes his appetite to be non-existent, so he doesn’t eat, despite Frank’s constant worrying and whispered _Eat something, babe_ ’s in Mikey’s ear.

For the most part, Mikey just sits and listens to the various conversations, joining in here and there, but mostly remaining quiet yet attentive. Later on, Hambone surprises Frank with a (vegan) Misfits cake, which Frank absolutely loves, and then Neil suggests a new activity…

“Wanna get your bong out, Frankie?” Neil asks, grinning as he holds up a little bag of weed.

“Fuck yeah, it’s my b-day,” Frank laughs as he gets up from the couch and disappears from the room for a moment. Frank reappears a moment later carrying a clear, water-filled bong in his hands. He sets the bong down on the coffee table in front of Neil, leaving Neil to pack the bowl with weed before returning to his spot on the couch next to Mikey.

Frank turns to Mikey. “Ever smoked a bowl?” he asks curiously.

“Nope,” Mikey shakes his head. “I shared a joint with my brother once in high school. That’s about it,” Mikey says.

Frank laughs. “Gerard’s idea, I’m guessing?”

Mikey smiles and chuckles at the memory. “Yeah, definitely his idea,” Mikey nods. “The first time I got drunk, it was with him, too,” he adds.

Frank nods. “You guys are so close. It’s kinda cute,” he smiles, making Mikey blush slightly.

It isn’t long before Neil gets his lighter out and takes a bong hit while the rest of the group looks on. The smell of pot isn’t Mikey’s favourite smell, and he wrinkles his nose slightly when the smoke reaches him.

“Good?” Tim asks as Neil finishes emptying his lungs of the stale smoke.

“Very good,” Neil smiles, passing the bong over to Tim. “Three hits and you’ll be good and high,” he says.

Hambone laughs. “Neil’s like our fuckin’ pharmacist,” he says, provoking laughter and agreement from Tim, Shaun and Frank.

“You girls having any?” Tim asks, nodding over to Jamia and Alicia after his bong hit.

“Nah, I’ll just watch and laugh at you guys,” Alicia smiles, and Jamia agrees with her.

Mikey watches nervously as the bong gets passed to Shaun, then Hambone, then Frank. Mikey’s still not sure if he wants to get high, but when he thinks about being the only sober one there besides the two girls, he quickly decides to just do it.

Mikey watches as Frank places his mouth against the opening of the bong, forming a seal with his lips, and Mikey absentmindedly wonders if this is how Frank got so good at giving head. Frank holds the lighter up to the bowl while inhaling, and Mikey watches as the chamber fills up with smoke. Frank then uncovers the small hole in the side of the bong and skillfully inhales all the smoke into his lungs, pulls his lips off of the mouthpiece, and holds the smoke in his lungs for a few seconds before exhaling slowly. It all seems so second-nature to Frank and for some reason it kind of turns Mikey on.

“Your turn,” Frank smiles, passing the bong over to Mikey.

Mikey is relieved that the rest of the group are all having their own conversations and not paying attention to him as he takes his first ever bong hit, because Mikey has no clue how to do this.

“You have to show me,” Mikey says, looking at Frank.

“Wrap your mouth around the top like I did,” Frank says gently. Mikey does this. “Make sure your lips are nice and tight around it…” Frank continues, almost in a whisper. Mikey swears Frank is trying to make his voice sound sexually suggestive and Mikey almost laughs, but stops himself.

“Now cover this hole…” Frank says, guiding Mikey’s left hand along the side of the bong until he feels a small hole. Mikey holds his hand against it and waits for Frank’s next instructions.

“I’m gonna light the bowl now, and you’re gonna inhale, okay?” Frank says. “Don’t take your hand off the hole until there’s lots of smoke in the chamber,” he adds. Mikey looks at Frank to signal that he’s ready, and then Frank holds the lighter up to the bowl, prompting Mikey to inhale. After a while, Mikey feels Frank’s hand on his, moving his hand along the bong to uncover the small hole, and then Mikey feels the cool smoke slowly filling his lungs. Mikey pulls his mouth off the bong once he can’t inhale anymore, and holds the smoke in his lungs for a few seconds. Mikey’s lungs and throat are fucking burning and he has a strong urge to cough, but he managers to hold it in for a sufficient amount of time before exhaling.

“How was it?” Frank asks, taking the bong from Mikey and passing it back to Hambone.

“Fucking terrible,” Mikey chuckles, still feeling the bitter burn at the back of his throat.

Frank smiles. “It gets better,” he says, rubbing Mikey’s knee affectionately.

The bong gets passed around twice more between the six guys (with Neil stopping to refill the bowl once), and everyone has two more hits, leaving them all red-eyed, giggly, hungry and sluggish. Jamia turns on the TV, knowing it will provide good entertainment for her and Alicia as they watch the guys’ reactions.

Mikey looks at the TV and sees colour and moving pictures, yet his brain can’t register what the fuck he’s actually watching; it’s all a blur. All he can focus on is the sensation of his hands rapidly changing temperature from hot to cold. Mikey holds his hands out in front of him and inspects them, widening his eyes, as if expecting to see some sort of movement under his skin. Mikey suddenly becomes aware of the fact that Jamia and Alicia laughing hysterically at him, and he smiles embarrassedly just as Frank nudges his side.

Mikey turns to look at Frank and then bursts out laughing, which in turn causes Frank to burst out laughing without even knowing why Mikey started laughing in the first place. Mikey holds his stomach as he gasps for air, trying to fight through the last of his giggles.

“What the hell, Mikey?” Frank laughs, maintaining a silly grin on his face.

“You can barely open your eyes,” Mikey manages to say before breaking out into laughter again.

Neil chuckles from across the room. “Mikey’s losin’ it. I love it,” he grins.

Mikey takes a deep breath and manages to calm down after a while, compelling himself to just relax and focus on the moving colours dancing around on the television screen. Frank rests his head on Mikey’s shoulder as Mikey watches the screen, and Mikey jumps slightly when Frank whispers in his ear.

“I’m not gonna be able to sit here much longer without making out with you…” Frank whispers, his breath hot against Mikey’s ear.

Mikey shivers and his heart thumps irregularly, making him feel even more dizzy. “So what are you gonna do about that?” Mikey whispers back, noticing that his voice sounds far away.

“Meet me in the bathroom,” Frank says quietly. He gives Mikey a playful smirk before getting up from the couch and heading out of the living room and down the hallway towards the bathroom.

Mikey sits on the couch for a few minutes, fidgeting with his hands until he feels he can slip away unnoticed. When he feels the time is right, Mikey inconspicuously gets up from the couch and retraces Frank’s path to the bathroom. Mikey knocks twice on the door before Frank opens it, grinning before pulling Mikey inside by the hand and shutting the door behind them.

Mikey smiles and his hands find Frank’s waist, pulling Frank close against his own body and enjoying the friction created between their lower regions. Mikey slowly walks them backwards until he has Frank’s back pushed up against the bathroom counter, and then leans in and ghosts his lips over the skin of Frank’s neck, causing Frank to let out a quiet gasp of pleasure.

“Fucking kiss me already,” Frank breathes out impatiently, snaking his arms around Mikey’s waist and pulling him even closer, grinding their hips together forcefully.

Mikey moans against Frank’s neck at the contact of their crotches and then giggles, thinking about how Frank’s voice had sounded like he was talking underwater.

“Mikey…” Frank whines, still yearning for the contact of their lips.

Mikey smiles, enjoying being in control for once; it’s usually Frank who has Mikey begging. “What do you want, Frankie?” Mikey whispers as he places soft, open-mouth kisses along Frank’s jawline.

“Just…touch me…do _something_ ,” Frank begs. Frank slips his tattooed hands up the back of Mikey’s t-shirt and his hands roam along Mikey’s skin, claiming every inch of it.

Mikey finally gives in, crashing his lips hard against Frank’s. Frank immediately shoves his tongue roughly inside of Mikey’s mouth, eager to be in control of the situation, and Mikey moans into Frank’s mouth, falling back into his usual, submissive role.

Mikey’s enjoying how being this high heightens his awareness of all the sensations he’s feeling; every feeling is so tangible and real and _fuck_ , Frank looks so hot right now.

Mikey pulls his lips away from Frank’s and just stares at him for a moment, panting and catching his breath from all the kissing they’ve done. Frank smiles and slides his hands down Mikey’s back until they’re resting on Mikey’s ass, squeezing it firmly. Mikey moans and throws his head back, enjoying the feeling of Frank’s dominant hands working his ass like that.

Frank attaches his lips to Mikey’s throat and gently kisses along Mikey’s Adam’s apple, whispering softly as he does. “I wanna fuck you right now, Mikey…right here against the bathroom counter…” Frank whispers, his hands still groping Mikey’s ass.

Mikey doesn’t think he’s ever felt this turned on before. He slowly brings his head back down so that he’s looking at Frank, and Frank stops kissing Mikey’s throat, staring at him attentively instead.

“Tell me what you wanna do to me,” Mikey says, his voice thick with lust.

“Oh God, Mikey…there are so many things I wanna do to you…” Frank smirks, squeezing Mikey’s ass extra hard, causing Mikey to moan like a whore.

“Tell me everything,” Mikey demands breathlessly. By now the front of his jeans are so tight that he feels like he’s about to explode.

“First,” Frank begins, bringing his hands down between them to unbutton Mikey’s jeans. “I wanna suck you off and make you come…and I wanna taste it; I want it all over me…” Frank says. He pulls down the zipper of Mikey’s jeans, never once breaking eye contact.

“Oh fuck yeah…then what?” Mikey presses on.

“Then I wanna get some lube on my fingers,” Frank says, rubbing his palm over Mikey’s dick through his underwear, “and rub them against your tight asshole,” he says, smirking slightly as he watches Mikey’s lustful facial expressions.

“ _Jesus_ , Frank…that’s hot,” Mikey pants, leaning in and kissing Frank’s lips feverishly.

Frank pulls his lips away from Mikey’s, almost in a scolding manner, and then continues talking as he slowly pulls down Mikey’s jeans and underwear.

“Then I wanna finger you nice and deep and hard…make you beg for my cock in your ass,” Frank goes on, looking down and watching as Mikey’s hard cock finally springs free from his underwear, the head shiny and sticky with pre-cum.

Mikey can’t even believe the words that are coming out of Frank’s mouth. He never knew Frank could talk so fucking _dirty_. Every word is making Mikey’s cock twitch and all he wants is Frank’s mouth going down on him right now.

“Tell me what’s next…I wanna hear you say it,” Mikey begs, reaching for his cock and wrapping his fingers around it.

“Hey, hey…” Frank scolds playfully, slapping Mikey’s hand away from Mikey's cock. “That’s _my_ job,” he smirks, placing a soft kiss on Mikey’s lips.

“I wanna come,” Mikey says. He’s literally ready to burst; he doesn’t think he’ll last more than a couple minutes once Frank starts sucking him off.

“I know; I’ll let you in a bit… Just let me tell you what I wanna do to you next,” Frank says, rubbing his hands up and down Mikey’s arms.

“Please tell me…” Mikey begs.

“I wanna flip you over onto your back, spread your legs apart, and slide my dick inside your tight hole,” Frank says, looking right into Mikey’s eyes. “And I wanna hear you scream my name…I wanna hear you say, ‘Yeah, Frankie, fuck me harder,’ and then I wanna come right inside of you, and tell you how great you are,” Frank finishes. He takes both of Mikey’s hands in his own and then presses his lips against Mikey’s, kissing him deeply.

Mikey pulls away after a while and looks at Frank, panting softly. “Do you actually think about these things or is it just the weed talking?” Mikey asks curiously.

Frank laughs and Mikey smiles when he sees that Frank is blushing. “You ask too many questions,” Frank smirks before placing his hands on Mikey’s shoulders and pushing Mikey backwards until he’s against the wall with his dick hanging out and his pants and underwear halfway down his legs.

Mikey is breathing hard as Frank gets onto his knees in front of Mikey and grabs the base of Mikey’s cock with his right hand, squeezing it lightly before flicking his tongue against the engorged, pink head.

Mikey lets slip a moan that comes out louder than he’d expected. “Frankie, _please_ …” Mikey pants, looking down at Frank and fighting the urge to just thrust himself repeatedly down Frank’s throat.

“Please what?” Frank asks, feigning innocence as he looks up at Mikey with those wide, bright eyes, his hand still wrapped firmly around the base of Mikey’s cock.

“Please just—”

The door suddenly swings open and just like that; the excitement of the scene is extinguished as Alicia stands there at the doorway with a beyond-shocked expression on her face.

“Holy shit, I…what are you…oh my God…I’m sorry,” Alicia sputters before quickly turning around and shutting the door behind her.

Frank and Mikey are frozen still, unable to comprehend what has just happened.

“Do you still wanna…?” Frank asks unsurely, looking up at Mikey’s uneasy expression.

Mikey shakes his head and quickly pulls up his underwear and jeans, buttoning and zipping the latter before letting his body slide down the wall until he’s sitting on the bathroom floor with his legs outstretched in front of him.

Mikey soon realizes that not only does weed heighten the sensations of _good_ feelings; it also heightens the sensations of panic and anxiety. Before Mikey knows it, his heart is racing faster than it has ever raced before in his life, his tongue feels like sandpaper, his palms are sweaty, and he feels like he won’t be able to breathe for much longer. Mikey is fucking terrified of what he’s feeling, and his feelings of fear only fuel the symptoms he’s experiencing—it’s a never-ending cycle of panic.

“Oh my God, Mikey are you okay?” Frank asks, concernedly placing a hand on Mikey’s shoulder.

Mikey can’t get enough breath into his lungs to speak; his chest is heaving up and down and it feels like it’s going to cave in at any second.

“Mikey, try and calm down, okay?” Frank says, and Mikey can hear the worry in his voice.

 _This is it_ , Mikey thinks to himself, _This is it. My lungs are gonna give out and I’m gonna die. All because of a fucking panic attack_.

Mikey’s self-defeating thoughts push him into an even deeper panic. He squeezes his eyes shut and wraps his arms around his middle section, trying to physically stop himself from hyperventilating.

“Mikey, you’re really scaring me right now. Can you try and talk to me? Tell me what’s wrong…” Frank continues, rubbing Mikey’s shoulder comfortingly.

Mikey doesn’t know how he does it, but he finally manages to speak. “Gerard. Call Gerard,” Mikey gasps.

Mikey hears Frank shuffle around, assumingly taking his phone out of his pocket, and before long he’s on the phone.

“Gerard you need to come get Mikey right now. No, he—he’s like…having a panic attack or something, I don’t even know, but it’s really fucking scary and I’m so worried and I don’t know what to do and—” Frank churns out before Gerard apparently interrupts him. “We did a few bong hits and that was it… Yeah… Okay… Okay, see you soon,” Frank says before hanging up the phone.

Frank kneels down in front of Mikey. “Gerard’s on his way, Mikey. We have to get you downstairs, okay? You need to stand up,” Frank says gently, taking Mikey’s hands.

Mikey opens his eyes and the bright lights in the room make him feel sick to his stomach, but he forces himself to gather up the strength to get himself up off the bathroom floor with Frank’s help. Mikey is still hyperventilating and he doesn’t know how long he’s going to last—he legitimately feels as though he’s going to die.

*

It’s just past ten o’ clock at night and Gerard is driving as fast as possible, cursing at every red light that makes him stop, until he gets to Frank’s apartment building. He parks the car out front where he sees Frank standing with his arm around Mikey’s shoulders, and then gets out of the car and quickly walks over to them. Mikey is squeezing his eyes shut, he’s hyperventilating and he’s shaking worse than Gerard has ever seen him.

“Mikey, Gerard’s here,” Frank says softly, removing his arm from around Mikey’s shoulder so that Gerard can take over.

Gerard can’t help but shake his head at how high these two are; their eyes are droopy and red as fuck, and Frank pretty much looks like he’s in a daze. Gerard places his hands on Mikey’s shoulders and looks him in the eyes.

“Mikey, everything’s fine. I’m gonna take you home and then we can just chill out and watch a movie or something, okay?” Gerard says softly. Gerard is used to dealing with Mikey’s panic attacks, although Mikey has never had one this bad before.

Gerard looks over at Frank, who’s standing to the side watching the two brothers, and Gerard can’t help but realize that this is the first he’s seeing Frank since their little ‘encounter’ a week earlier. But Gerard quickly remembers why he’s here and shakes the thought out of his head. “Thanks for your help, I’m gonna get him home now,” Gerard says to Frank.

Frank nods and says a quiet “okay” before Gerard leads Mikey over to his car and gets him into the passenger’s seat before walking around the car and getting into the driver’s seat. Gerard drives a bit less recklessly on the drive home, especially since he notices that Mikey’s breaths have become somewhat slower since they got into the car. They don’t speak at all on the drive home—Gerard gives Mikey a chance regain his composure—but when they get up to the apartment Gerard speaks.

“How are you feeling?” Gerard asks as they both kick their shoes off at the doorway. “Do you need one of your pills?” he asks.

Mikey shakes his head and takes a deep breath. “Just wanna lie down,” he says with a croaky voice, presumably from the dryness of his throat.

Mikey drags his feet into his bedroom and Gerard follows, leaning against the doorframe as he watches his brother collapse onto the bed with a sigh.

“Should I just turn the light off then?” Gerard asks, assuming—from Mikey’s tired appearance—that Mikey just wants to sleep off his weed-induced lethargy.

“No. I mean…can you stay for a bit?” Mikey asks. Mikey’s looking up at Gerard with utmost longing in his eyes and how can Gerard say no to that?

Gerard walks over to the bed and sits down carefully on the edge next to Mikey’s outstretched body.

“Can you, like…lie down next to me?” Mikey asks with a slight smile.

Gerard chuckles and decides it might be fun chatting with Mikey while Mikey’s high as a kite, so he lies down and gets comfortable next to his brother. Mikey’s lying on his back, his red eyes focused up at something on the ceiling, while Gerard is lying on his side facing Mikey, propping himself up with his elbow.

“So, how many hits did you take anyway?” Gerard asks curiously.

Mikey grins and shrugs. “I dunno. I think it was three…” he says, his voice still croaky.

“Do you want some water or something?” Gerard offers.

“Nah,” Mikey says and sighs before turning his head to look at Gerard. “I had a fucked up night, Gerard,” Mikey says matter-of-factly.

Gerard can’t help but laugh. It’s been a while since he’s talked to Mikey so openly like this; half the time Mikey’s locked up in his room with his nose in a textbook, leaving little time for simple, carefree conversation.

“Tell me about your night then; don’t leave me hanging,” Gerard pushes.

“Alicia was there,” Mikey says.

Gerard’s eyes go wide in shock. “Are you fucking kidding me? Well no wonder you were freaking out…” Gerard says. “How the hell does she know Frank? Was she with Quinn?” he asks.

“One of Frank’s friends brought her along,” Mikey explains. “And no, she wasn’t with Quinn, and I’m fucking glad she wasn’t, otherwise I would have left right away,” Mikey says.

“Yeah, what an asshole. What kind of best friend steals his buddy’s girl?” Gerard says, annoyed. “So anyway, did you talk to Alicia at all?” he asks.

“I didn’t say one word to her. And she acted like I was completely invisible, so fuck her,” Mikey says with an edge in his tone of voice. Gerard can sense that Mikey still feels a lot of resentment towards Alicia, no matter how many times he’s tried to tell Gerard that he’s ‘completely over her.’

“Ugh, you’d think after what she did to you that she’d at least have the decency to try and patch things up, maybe apologize for being such a fucking bitch back then…” Gerard says, shaking his head in disbelief.

“She fucking broke me, Gerard,” Mikey says. “I mean, think about what I’ve become: I rarely go out, I get panic attacks, and I’ve lost so many friends just by being so antisocial. I’m never gonna be the person I was before she left me for Quinn,” Mikey explains.

“Kinda reminds me of how Jared broke me,” Gerard says, although it hurts to bring up the memory. “He lied to me for so long about the drugs…told me he wasn’t selling, that he was just holding them for a friend. I can’t believe how fucking naïve I was back then. And then he went and got himself fucking arrested and the truth came out,” Gerard reminisces. He suddenly becomes aware that he’s not drunk, and realizes how much he’d like to be.

“I used to be _optimistic_ ,” Gerard says, and he can’t help but laugh out loud at how foreign the word sounds coming out of his mouth.

“How are you doing with your drinking and…stuff?” Mikey asks. And by “stuff”, Gerard is pretty sure Mikey’s talking about the random guys Gerard used to bring home late at night.

“The drinking’s not getting any better, but I haven’t fucked any strangers in two and a half weeks, which is a pretty fucking big accomplishment for me,” Gerard says.

Mikey smiles. “That’s great, Gee. I’m really proud of you,” he says earnestly.

“Thanks,” Gerard smiles back at his brother in admiration. Mikey always has this way of making Gerard feel so much better about himself; Mikey could have easily pointed out his distaste at the fact that Gerard’s excessive drinking habits weren’t improving, but instead he chose to highlight Gerard’s small victory. It’s little things like this that make Gerard feel like the luckiest guy in the world to have Mikey as a brother.

“So, anyway…” Mikey begins. “Frank and I were in the bathroom at his place earlier, and he was about to give me head when Alicia walked in. That’s when I freaked out and had a panic attack,” Mikey explains nonchalantly.

If Gerard had a drink in his mouth at that moment, he would have spit it out all over the place—that’s how shocked he is when he hears what Mikey has just said.

“Holy fuckin’ shit, Mikey!” Gerard says, his mouth hanging wide open. “I thought you freaked out at the fact that she was at the party, not at the fact that she caught you doing shit with Frank!” Gerard exclaims.

“Yeah, it was fucking awful—easily the most embarrassing moment of my life. I actually hope I never see her again,” Mikey says.

Gerard feels bad about Mikey’s situation, but he can’t help but laugh, and when he notices that Mikey has joined in on the laughter, Gerard laughs even harder, and pretty soon they’re both just killing themselves laughing at the whole situation because _shit_ , Mikey’s ex-girlfriend walked in on Mikey getting head from a dude. It doesn’t get any more priceless than that.

Gerard catches his breath before speaking again. “What’d she say when she saw you guys?” he grins.

Mikey laughs and shrugs. “She sputtered out some shit, I have no idea exactly what she said though. Probably something along the lines of ‘What the fuck did I just see?’” Mikey says.

Gerard laughs wholeheartedly and shakes his head. “I’m sorry, but that’s just too funny,” he says.

“Yeah, looking back, it’s actually pretty funny. I sure freaked the fuck out though,” Mikey says. “I actually convinced myself that I was gonna die,” he laughs, remembering his thoughts.

“You crazy motherfucker,” Gerard chuckles.

Mikey sighs contentedly and for a moment he looks like he’s off in his own little world, high as a kite.

“Are you seeing pretty colours?” Gerard asks vaguely.

“Nope. I’m thinking about Frank,” Mikey admits with a lopsided smile. “Shit, Gerard…you should have heard the things he was saying to me… The dirtiest things you could imagine…” Mikey says distantly, his eyes slipping closed.

Gerard’s breath catches when he realizes that Mikey is getting turned on, thinking about Frank.

“That boy has a fucking filthy mouth…” Mikey chuckles to himself. Gerard’s eyes widen as he watches Mikey trail his hand down his chest and stomach before finally settling on top of his crotch, which Gerard has only just noticed is bulging out suspiciously.

Gerard swallows hard, feeling increasingly awkward and out of place as Mikey starts rubbing himself over the fabric of his jeans. But, for some reason, Gerard can’t look away; even as Mikey skillfully pops open the button of his jeans with one hand, pulling the zipper down soon after.

“He said he wanted to fuck me right there, against the bathroom counter,” Mikey continues, slowly pushing his jeans down his legs. “I probably would have let him if he tried to,” Mikey admits with a slight smirk on his face.

Gerard doesn’t know what anything is anymore. He’s just transfixed, listening to Mikey and watching Mikey… Watching Mikey’s thumbs hook underneath the elastic of his briefs, tugging them down almost… _teasingly_? Gerard can’t look away and he’s actually terrified at the fact that he himself is starting to get hard watching his own brother touch himself…

 _Why is this happening. This isn’t supposed to turn me on. I need to leave right now. Get up, Gerard. Get off the bed. Go back to your own room. He’s high as fuck. He’s your_ brother _, for God’s sake._

It’s all useless. Gerard can’t even look away, let alone leave the room once Mikey pulls his briefs down, causing his hard cock to spring back, slapping lightly against his belly. With his eyes still shut, Mikey lets out a small groan and wraps his right hand tightly around his shaft. Gerard feels his own cock twitch in his jeans, and Gerard feels as though his cock is reminding him that it needs attention. Gerard fights every urge to just rip off his jeans and jerk off right there on Mikey’s bed.

“The best part,” Mikey begins, licking his lips as his hand increases its speed moving up and down his stiff cock, “was when he told me he wanted to finger me… He told me he wanted to make me beg for his cock in my ass. How fucking hot is that?” Mikey says, his voice all breathy and shaky.

Mikey is right: Frank does have a fucking filthy mouth, and Gerard would be lying if he said he doesn’t think it’s hot.

Gerard cannot take his eyes off of Mikey’s cock, with all that clear, sticky pre-cum dripping off of the large head, flushed pink with heat… Gerard finds himself eagerly waiting for Mikey to blow his load, just so he can watch.

Mikey slowly brings his left hand down to caress his darkened, taut balls and Gerard pretty much loses it as he watches his brother, letting out a quiet whimper that causes Mikey to smile slightly. Gerard feels the blush creep up his neck from embarrassment and in that moment he’s glad Mikey has his eyes closed. The tightness in the front of Gerard’s jeans is now bordering on painful; he needs to get off badly.

Mikey’s breathing suddenly starts speeding up and he arches his back slightly and curls his toes, and Gerard knows that Mikey’s about to come.

“Gerard…pull my shirt up,” Mikey says breathlessly. He opens his eyes and moans as his right hand furiously pumps at his cock and his left hand rubs his balls.

“W-What?” Gerard asks, caught off guard by the fact the he’s being brought into the action.

“Pull my fucking shirt up,” Mikey repeats, looking up at Gerard and gasping for air as he whorishly bucks his hips off the bed.

Gerard finds his hands shaking as he gets onto his knees and grabs the bottom hem of Mikey’s t-shirt, pulling it up and exposing Mikey’s skin all the way up to the bottom of his collarbone.

“Ungh…fuck yeah… _fuck_ …” Mikey moans as ropes of white cum spurt out of his throbbing cock and onto the fair skin of his torso. Mikey’s orgasm leaves him panting contentedly, letting his hand fall from his cock and his head sink back into his pillow as he closes his eyes once again.

Gerard is sitting up on his knees; heart racing, cock throbbing in his jeans. He doesn’t know what the fuck to say or do after what he’s just seen.

“Can you pass me a tissue?” Mikey asks breathily. Gerard looks down and his eyes fix momentarily on Mikey’s cum-covered torso before reaching over to Mikey’s bedside table and pulling a couple tissues out of the Kleenex box beside the alarm clock and handing them to Mikey.

Gerard watches Mikey clean himself up and then toss the tissues into the waste basket beside the bed before pulling up his underwear and jeans.

“That wasn’t weird for you, was it?” Mikey asks, looking at Gerard carefully.

“Um, kind of…well, at first…” Gerard says, uncharacteristically stumbling over his words.

Mikey smiles timidly. “I just thought it would be hot…you know, doing it in front of you,” he says, quickly glancing down at the bulge in Gerard’s pants.

“I should go to bed,” Gerard says, feeling suddenly self-conscious about his obvious erection.

Mikey glances over at the clock on the bedside table. “It’s barely eleven o’ clock on a Saturday night and you of all people are going to bed?” Mikey asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Long day,” Gerard says abruptly, climbing off the bed and standing up. “Have a good sleep,” he says before making his way to the door.

“Thanks for picking me up tonight,” Mikey says.

Gerard turns around at the doorway and looks at Mikey, who’s taking off his glasses in preparation for sleep. “You’re welcome,” Gerard says.

“I love you,” Mikey says, speaking softer this time.

Gerard pauses, feeling utterly guilty about the bulge in his jeans as he looks over at his brother. “I love you too, Mikey,” he says before shutting the door and hurrying into his own bedroom to take care of his “problem”.

 _I’m going to hell_ is Gerard’s last thought before falling asleep, feeling spent and exhausted.  
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End file.
